Q. How many Jews can you fit in a car? A. Four, I drive a Volkswagen Jetta

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What did the boy with no arms or legs get for christmas? I don't know, he couldn't open the presents.

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James Patrick Campbell

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A man walks inta pet store looking for a dog. All he finds are cats.What did he end up buying. A weasel

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What's green and smells like a dirty whore? A dirty whore

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EGGPLANT

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You know what makes jokes funny? Irony You know what makes anti-jokes funny? Common sense

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ur mum

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Bartender: What are you having? Sally: Can I have a martini? Bartender: How do you want it? Sally: I want it tall and black, like my man.

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Two Jews walk into a bar. They promptly order their drinks and leave.

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Two black men and a latino board a plane together. They are members of the Marshall High School football team, and all die in the subsequent crash.

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How do you kill a squirrel? Take the jaws of life. Rip it in half. And suck on the organs.

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Roses are reds violets are blue when your parents says your beautiful they're lying to you

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How do you confuse a gay person? How? 7

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Tom: So I heard a pretty good Anti-Joke the other day. Jim: Oh, I love those!! What was it? Tom: [says nothing]

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Knock Knock! Who's there? Banana! Banana who? Knock knock! Who's there? Banana! Banana who? Knock knock! Who's there? Orange! Orange who? Orange you glad I didn't stab you 17 times in the kidney?

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Why did the man cry when he received his meal at McDonalds? They didn't give him a happy meal.

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One day a married couple have a conversation. The husband says, "Make me a sandwich." The wife says, "Okay, what do you want on it?"

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There once was a baby named Paul Bunyan who was as big as a house. His mother died at childbirth.

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Q: What did the Goth-Punk girl write on her test for the question "What are three kinds of rock?" A: Igneous, Sedimentary, & Metamorphic, She is a 4.0 Geology Major attending a respectable University. She simply chooses to express herself through the musical and clothing trends that emerged in 1970's English underground music. In reality it her personal preferences in the aforementioned areas have no bearing on her intellectual or academic standing.

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Why can't a dinosaur clap its hands? Dinosaurs are extinct.

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Knock knock, who's there? Doctor. Doctor who?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It just didn't.

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Who swept the woman off her feet? A kidnapper

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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