When life throws you lemons, duck cuz they freakin' hurt

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What`s pink and fluffy? Pink fluff What did the banana say to the ear? Hello

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What do you call a muslim flying a plane> .....a pilot

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knock knock. who's there? your neighbor. o hi come one in!

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Where's my tractor?

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What is white, black and blue all over? A zebra that was assaulted by Chuck Norris.

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Roses Are Red...Rolo's Are Round....Pull Down Your Pants And Let's Down!

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what did the banana say to the orange? nothing because a banana is a fruit

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Wuts brown and smelly? Brown smelly stuff.

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bob said "Hi Joe why the long face" Joe replies "I'm a horse dip sh*t"

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Why did the elephant paint his toenails orange? Because he wanted to hide in the pumpkin patch

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You know whats funny? A man cooking dinner.

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In Soviet Russia, test takes you... to a privileged University with an appropriate transcript.

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Someone offers your friend one of two things he say's "choose witch one you want" your friends asks you and you say "if i were you, i'd be ugly"

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why did the Japanese boy drop his ice cream ? Because he was hit by a building.

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What's black and doesn't work? My blackberry

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Henry VIII: I need another wife!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Thomas Wolsey: All right then. How about my nan? Henry VII: I'm dead!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :~D

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Q:Why didn't Mr. Fuzzy have to cut his hair anymore? A: Because he was diagnosed with cancer

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Two muffins are in an oven one of them says "wow it's hot in here" The other muffin says "Ah a talking muffin"

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It works on whoever I have an emotional attachment with, for example people might be thinking you and I write in the exact same style, but I am actually copying your way of typing (spelling, word composition etc) this because we relate on a deep emotional level with people that like "get us" because they can act and behave like us. This again doubles the effect of the hypnosis, since when I get "super high on trance" and you feel that way, well, we both reach into the same wavelength, literally. Scientists and hypnotists supposedly have no idea as to why this happens, but I know, it is because our brain patterns are so similar, that even though we are at a long distance, your body believes itself to be an extension of mine and the other way around. How do I know this? Yogurt.

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WHO FRAMED ROGER RABBIT? roger rabbit while hilarious, was an idiot and framed himself....mind F***.

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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? Answer: because he had no guts

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A mathematician, a physicist, and an engineer walk into a bar. They order some drinks, sit quietly and stare at their shoes until they've finished their drinks, then go back home and wallow in loneliness, wishing their social skills weren't so abysmal.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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