Whats red and black and has 8 legs? 4 dead african babies.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What do you call a black man who is flying a plane? A pilot.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

A little boy went to a sleep over . They watched a episode of pokemon and the flashing lights triggered the boys epilepsy he was driven to hospital and is recovered.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Minecraft.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

The past the present and the future walk into a bar it made no logical sense that three things that will always contradict each other exist with each other and can walk into a bar without limbs or being alive it wasn't tense it made no sense

thumb_up thumb_down -3

knock knock... whose there? I don't know why don't you open it and find out dumb ass... Gosh people and their common sense these days!!

thumb_up thumb_down -3

There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

thumb_up thumb_down -3

knock knock whos there open the door and find out

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What do you get when you cross an elephant and a rhino? El-if-iknow

thumb_up thumb_down -3

A man walks into a bar, looks to the right and sees a man one foot tall playing the piano, he sits at the bar and says to the bar tender,"I'm feeling kind of down" the bar tender gives him a bottle of very strong alcohol and later that night he goes home and hangs himself.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What's better than your mom dying? Chocolate Cake.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What did the goose say to the other goose? Honk!

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What's one very bad way to injure yourself? Smashing your head against a metal surface

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Knock Knock Who's there? Cindy Cindy who? Cindy your neighbor. I was wondering if I could borrow some milk, I ran out.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What did the ocean say to the shore? Nothing, water and sand are incapable of speech. Unless of course you are Harry Potter in which case you can cast a spell on them and turn them into a cat which still couldn't talk and them from there you could wait for them to evolve which doesn't actually exist so you would have to ask God and then you would wait for a few years than they could say hi.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

rose's are red violets are blue bernard is mine and yours too if you hurt him in any way i'll punch you in your face and make you gay Krissc

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why did the little girl stop licking her Popsicle? A psychopath cut off her tongue.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

There once was a man from Nantucket, His dick was so long it caused tremendous physical discomfort, and it was extremely difficult for him to find pants that did not reveal his freakish abnormality, and greatly limited his levels of intimacy. After botched reduction surgery, he was left without a penis at all and, realising the horrible irony, threw himself into a raging river (experiencing no shrinkage whatsoever).

thumb_up thumb_down -5

bill goes to the room.. why? to fing a broom riddle boz full of burtiouse.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Whats worse then biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into an apple and finding half a worm. Wats worse then biting into an apple and finding half a worm? Biting into an eggplant and finding half a worm, as eggplants are usually more expensive so you will have wasted more money and would probably not be willing to eat the rest. And eggplants taste like shit.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

A train conducter conducts at 60mph, when he goes under a bridge he goes at 52mph. When he goes over a hill he goes at 47mph, if he goes under 2 bridges and over 3 hills what did the conductors mother have for dinner that night. Nothing she was raped then promptly murdered.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

whats worse than finding a worm in your apple getting blow jobed by a giant squirrel

thumb_up thumb_down -5

A man and his friend are talking. The man says, "You know what's funny? Sometimes you mean to say one thing and you say a completely different thing. Like the other day I wanted to buy a ticket to pittsburgh, but the lady I was buying it from had very large breasts, so I accidentally said 'Can I have a picket to titsburgh?'" And the other guy says, "Yeah, man, it's really funny you say that, the other day I meant to ask my wife to pass the salt, and I said 'you whore, you ruined my life'"

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops