What's the difference between a dead baby and a carpet? I don't sell carpets.

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A homophobic man walks into a bar and the bartender asks: "what can I get for ya?" the man replies: "shut up gaylord"

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On Tuesday mornings at 7:32 a.m., what is the square root of 31? I don't know, because it would be an irrational number of which is not possible to calculate without the aid of a calculator. However, the date and time would not affect the answer.

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there was a guy who wanted to be bad and have bitches but he died from all the smoking and drinking and went to hell for eternal damnation

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Steven Hawking walks into a bar

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there once was a man from Nantucket. I want to ride in a helicopter.

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Why didn't the blonde finish her book? She died.

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Why was the boy crying? Because his dad comes home drunk every night and beats him.

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Why did priences Dian cross the street? Cause she wasn't wearing a seatbelt!!

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The foreskin of a baby gorilla

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what is behind your butt? DEEZ NUTS

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Yo mama so fat she runs the risk of stroke, heart disease, or diabetes

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Whats white and black and red all over? A panda that has just been shot by a poacher.

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What do you get when you put your dick in a potato? A guy who is into creepy sex

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Why didn't the ice cream cross the road? ??(?/?) ?. (KOREAN)

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was clumsy.

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How do you convince a therapist that he is crazy? Hide in a fortress made of sporks wearing nothing but a belt, and start hissing and throwing paint at him repeatedly.

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There were two men 1 says "hey stupid" and the other man says "Yeah"

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What do you get when you cross chocolate pudding with your mother's slippers? A spanking.

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A man and a woman walk into a bar... They both die from cerebral hemorrhages.

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Why did the blonde throw her alarm clock out the window? Because it was broken.

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Why did Darren Wilson quick scope Michael Brown? Because he was being attacked, racism is wrong

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what's red and horny a red unicorn

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Q:What's funny about a Jew marrying a Nazi? A:The situation

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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