Roses are red Violets are blue Peas are green Plums are purple Thieves are black

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Why did the pervert cross the road? His dick was stuck in the chicken

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Why was the man whistling? He was calling his friend.

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Why did the Chicken Cross the road? Because it did...

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What did Batman say to Robin before going into the Batmobile? Get in the car.

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What do you call a handyman with no arms? By his name.

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Who is the funniest guy on this planet? Mike the Situation.

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How many ADHD kids does it take to change a light bulb? Let's go ride our bikes!

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What's the difference between a Jew and a canoe? One is a type of small aquatic craft, and the other is a human being who practices Judaism.

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What do grizzly bears and people have in common? Neither can survive in outer space, due to depressurization, lack of oxygen, and absence of basic survival needs.

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A young girl walks out of a bar then gets raped.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Charcoal is black and so is my neighbor

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A spanish comedian walked into a bar. He was on time for his act.

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was DEAD! But why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was stapled to the first monkey... But then why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? P-p-p-p-eer pressure

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I scream, you scream, we all scream for shit

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What's the difference between a Jew and a Muslim? -You can research and find several similarities and differences, but I will not go into detail about them.

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knock knock whos there rock rock who rocks dont knock stupid

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Why did the young boy lose a testicle? Because he was viciously raped by a large parrot

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A woman is in a terrible car crash. The husband comes in, runs to the doctor and he says "Doctor! My wife...is she going to make it?" The doctor turns and says "your wife will survive, but she's experienced heavy brain trauma. She will never walk again. You'll have to bathe her, feed her, change her diapers, and cater to her every need." The husband starts crying and says "oh my God that's terrible! Are you serious?" The doctor replies "Yes."

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Whats blue, green and red, and runs trough the strees each sunday? ...What? I have no idea, I was hoping you did.

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Q: what is green, red, white, on fire, in space A: i dont know you tell me

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2 gay men walked into a bar, The next day they want back to the bar, They went back on the third day but only 1 man came back out and he was in tears, This was because the other man had a cardiac arrest and died.

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What was that pirate movie rated? PG-13

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I always like to pack a second pair of pants, because if there's one thing my mother ever said to me it was 'please, I'm begging you - don't put me in a home.'

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops