How do you shoot an eagle? You don't. The eagle is going too fast for you.

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I can be considerate if like someone is burning to death and I was the one considerate enough to lit them on fire... Wait no, I am considerate towards my friends (which are all ladies, all men besides me are obstacles and nothing else) AAAAND my logic processor broke down. Anyway, please do me the honors, take the last message.

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Knock knock. MAN: Who's there? HOOKER: The hooker you called for. MAN: Oh, dear lord. My wife hasn't left yet. I need you to come back in fifteen minutes. WIFE: Honey, who is it? MAN: It's the hooker I called for, but you haven't left. I told her to come back in fifteen minutes.

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a boy fell in mud... a kid took a bath with bubbles... bubbles was the girl next door!

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How many pencils does it take to get an A on a test? Actually it takes knowledge.

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If 6 is afraid of 7, what is 7 afraid of? ...Chuck Norris.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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Q. Why did the Chineese man eat a banana? A. He was hungry, and he was craving a banana.

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a girl got a friend request from a unknown guy. she chated him asking who he was. he replied vamos a tener sexo caliente y vas a pedir mas rapido mas duro! vamos ser estrellos porno. the girl deleted him as a friend B.A.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, well at least they were, until I met you!

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Once upon of time there was a chicken. It crossed the road and everybody made fun of him. The End

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Face down, ass up. Thats the way I like to sleep

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why did the chicken cross the road ...WHO FREAKING CARES!!!!

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Why can't Tommy ride his bicycle? Because Tommys' bike has a missing pedal.

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What did the guy and girl do at the wedding? Nothing, The guy is gay

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When do you call 911? When you need help with do something that you either can't do alone or can't control

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Vaginas are like? books. You stick your dick in them.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, i am in sex mode, why the F**k are you!!

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brittney griner

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What is the difference between a dolphin and a ghost? A dolphin is not a ghost

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You know what likes to get fisted? Sock puppets.

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What's black, white and red all over? A nun that fell down a flight of stairs

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Bitch

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what did the orange say to the other orange? we are both oranges.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops