Your momma's so obnoxious, your dad left.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

a blonde walks into a drycleaning store to get her clothes and on her way out the empoyee behind her says come again and then the blonde says shut up u nosy bitch its just toothpaste this time!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -9

a person who will soon die of beeties

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why did Chuck Norris fall of the cliff? Because he was pushed.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What is red and can fly? An elephant. I lied about being red. And I also lied about the flying part.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What do you call a bathtub full of dead babies? A tragedy.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Oh no my baby is dead. Ha.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

oh hai i'm al gore reduce ur carbon footprint lolz

thumb_up thumb_down -9

This is sparta No this is patrick

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Q: Whats different about pizza and jewish people? A: Pizzas don't scream in the oven.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why did the chicken help people across the road all day? Because after past experiences the chicken decided to become a lollypop chicken and help people not make the mistakes he did

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why did the dead baby cross the road? Cause it was stapled to the chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

I saw my friend stabbing a girl. i asked what is he doing "Oh im just killing time" turns out the girls name is Time Demson. What a weird name i thought to myself.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why can't Jesus eat M&Ms? Because they weren't invented when he was alive.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

I got stopped for speeding the other day. The policeman said I had to pay a £50 fine. I was gutted. However, later that night I had amazing sex with my wife, which helped me to take my mind off things a bit.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

How do you stop a baby crying? You don't. Just walk away.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What do you call a penguin in the desert? Most likely a dead penguin.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

have you ever had african food? neither have they

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why are you so gay? Because I am unequivocally attracted to the same sex.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

whats better than 10 babies nailed to 1 tree? 1 baby nailed to 10 trees whats better than 1 baby nailed to 10 trees? 10 trees nailed to 1 baby

thumb_up thumb_down -9

My mom is such a bitch that no one will date her!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!TRUE STORY!! :D

thumb_up thumb_down -9

My friend and I were telling jokes the other day. Ha said " I've run out of dead baby jokes!" to which I replied " I've run out of dead babies."

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why didn't the skeleton go to the dance? He had nobody to go with :)

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops