How do you get a black man out of a tree? Politely say "Hey you, get out of the tree."

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What does a sock, pillow and a lamp have in common? -they all live underwater expect for the sock, pillow and lamp -Matt

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2 nuns in the bath, One says "wears the soap" the other says "Over there, next to the shampoo"

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Q:what does your face and this site have in common? A:both are poorly constructed

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whats worse than a pile of dead babies?...... A carrot

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Roses are bitches Violets are two, your mother is a bigger bitch then both

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A horse walks into a bar and the barman asks, "Why the long face?" The horse, being a horse and thus unable to speak or comprehend the complexities of conversation, does not reply and shits on the floor.

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What happens when you bite the head off of two animal crackers and make them play leap frog? Nothing. Quit playing with your food.

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Why did the priest kill his family? Preists can't marry, therefore have not families.

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Knock Knock Who's there? The Gestapo

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Yo momma's so fat, she's most likely to be at risk of high cholesterol and should probably get herself tested at her nearest health clinic.

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Why couldn't the blonde have kids? She had Ovarian Cancer.

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Q: Why are lizards broke? A: Because they run around the desert with no money.

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How do you make a plumber cry? You kill his family.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? It's the gas man, I've come to read your meter, like we arranged.

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why wouldn't the printer work? because there was an animal in it.

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There was a curtain who sneezed and then asked you for a tissue. He was in a room with two chairs a coffee table and a 37 year old bookcase, why did he sneeze???? Because he had a cold!!????

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Q) What do you call a black man swinging from a tree? A) A very silly man as it is potentially dangerous

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my grandpa has the heart of a lion, and a permanent ban to the zoo.

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Roses are red violets are blue tulips are purple/pink

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Why are black people so tall? Jesus was also black and therefore gives black people some favorable traits.

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-Knock Knock -Who's there? -John. -Hey John, come on in.

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Q: how do you get a live elephant into a refrigerator? A: you buy an industrial sized refrigerator from cost-co and then walk the elephant slowly but surely through the door. Q: how do you get a giraffe in a refrigerator? A: after removing the elephant by means of walking out the door, slice the giraffe into small pieces approx. 1m by 1m by 1m and put those into the refrigerator

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What did the boy in the wheelchair get for Christmas? A bicycle.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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