Seven monkeys jumping on the bed. One fell off and broke its head! Momma called the doctor, And the doctor said, "I'm sorry, Mrs.Monkey, but your son has suffered a severe concussion, and will be very mentally impaired for the rest of his life."

thumb_up thumb_down +35

A kid has no friends.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Why don't dinosaurs talk anymore? Because they're all dead, duh. :P

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Your family is dead, I killed them.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Why couldn't the colorblind boy play Twister with his friends? He was a quadriplegic.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

There was an american man on the way to work.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

What was the pirate movie rated? PG-13 for violence and mild nudity.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Bacon makes everything delicious, yes? And coffee makes everything exciting, yes? Put the two together and you get a caffeinated porky roller coaster in your mouth.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

how do you know if your friend is your best friend? if he cries you cry, if he laughs you laughs, if he jumps out a window you laugh again.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Who is the most famous black person? Michael Jackson, except he's not black.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Q:how do you make a rockstar cry? A: hit him with a breifcase

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Did you know Hellen Keller had a dog? Niether did she

thumb_up thumb_down +31

A Jew walks into a bar screaming cause he just broke his face

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Why did the boy get stuck on the toilet? He was Elvis.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What did the man do when he dropped his bar of soap. He picked it up

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Knock Knock! Who's there? ....Mrs Murray silently returned to her armchair, a single tear rolling down her weathered cheek. Her lonely existence deepened, as she realised the gang of boys had fooled her again.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

A Girl Who was very close to er grandmother got a text from her mom who was very new to texting, she thought lol meant "Lots Of Love" wel it turns out the Girl's Grandmother Passed away Sunday Morning And the Mom sent the text to the girl saying " Your Grandmother Got hit by a truck and died lol" the Girl Killed Herself that night becasue Of her mom, LESSON LEARNED< LEARN HOW TO TEXT.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Whats worse than finding an worm in your apple? 1942 BERLIN

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Chuck Norris threw a grendade, killed 50 people, then it exploded This is a highly improbable event considering no man is faster then a grenade

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What hurts worse than a papercut? Divorce.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

How do you get down from a horse?? You don't... You get down from a duck.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What is a black person's favorite food? It varies from person to person, just as with any race.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Why did the doctor commit suicide? His wife was recently killed in a car accident and simply could not take the emotional pain!

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Why do girls wear makeup and perfume? Because they are ugly and they stink.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops