What did the black person use to peel a banana? His hands.

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Thank you Jesus, for this wonderful meal we have tonight. De nada.

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A man walks into a bar............. The bar explodes and everyone dies

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Next season on teen moms, Justin Bieber tells her story.

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What did the FBI agent say to the CIA agent. We're both agents

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knock knock who's there? the police, we have a warrant for your arrest.

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What do you get if you cross a man and a horse? Severe internal bleeding.

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A potato walked into a bar and ordered a large bowl of french fries

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Two men walked into a bar. I'm surprised the second man did not duck out of the way.

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Sigh... You know life, you start all optimistic and "I am going to be wealthy mommy and stuff" Then you know, life turns not quite out like you planned it, and, well, you wish you had made some other choices you know what I mean... Your grades where not that good, that girl you really loved did not like you back, you know what I mean right? ...Well I don't, how is it like?

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A woman is in a terrible car crash. The husband comes in, runs to the doctor and he says "Doctor! My wife...is she going to make it?" The doctor turns and says "your wife will survive, but she's experienced heavy brain trauma. She will never walk again. You'll have to bathe her, feed her, change her diapers, and cater to her every need." The husband starts crying and says "oh my God that's terrible! Are you serious?" The doctor replies "Yes."

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Person #1: Hello captain obvious. Person #2: Hello.

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A police officer walks into a doughnut shop. He approaches the cashier and hands him 20$. He says "Here, I saw you drop this on your way in" he promptly leaves the store.

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What do you get if you cross if you cross an overweight woman with a pair of very tight trousers? Exactly that, an overweight woman in inappropriately tight torusers.

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A blonde, brunette, and a redhead walk into a bar. The redhead, growing tired of the constant ridicule directed at her from the other two, kills them. She pleads guilty to 3rd degree murder on two counts and is sentenced two life sentences in a maximum security prison in Cambodia.

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what do you call a dog with no legs? whatever his owner named him it is a shame he can`t run and play with other dogs.

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What do you call a black man walking home in the dark after a long day at work? His name you racist

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I'm so full I could stop eating.

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What was so special about Anna Frank's diary? Nothing. --ZeNaziGermanDoctor

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seven guys rob a bank, they share it in this ratio 2:2:2:4:2:5:2 who got the most money? you don't know

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Knock Knock Whose there? The pizza you ordered That's weird, the Pizza I ordered shouldn't be able to talk

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Whats worse than seeing your family killed in front of your eyes? Not much to be honest

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What did the little boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? A Drumset.

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Knock Knock Come in Come in who? Come in...wait what?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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