What did the little boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? A Drumset.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

How do you kill a blonde? You shoot her.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why does the Gay guy have a bell on his bike? Because its the only way his blind dog can follow him.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why did Timmy lose the race? He had no legs

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Whats numbing and smells like burning toast? A stroke.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What did Helen Keller say to the priest? Nothing, she didn't know he was there.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why did Timmy drop his ball? Because he was hit by a bus. A) Knock knock? B) Who's there? C) Not Timmy

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Q: What did bulbasoar say to charmander? A: Bet ya thought I was gunna say Bulbasoar!!

thumb_up thumb_down +7

You're at a funeral & your phone goes off and the ringtone is dead and gone

thumb_up thumb_down +7

1st black guy: get a job 2nd black guy: i have one 1st black guy: okay

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What's the difference between a Corvette and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Corvette in my garage.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

You know the drill, the world is not as black and white as it was before, just because we are not on the same side, does not make us enemies either. As for whatever is going on, I can assure you I had nothing to do with the fall of the first underground, and neither will I make sure whatever you scraped together, large or small falls either, I realize I should have thought this trough some more, but we had little time to act on this one.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why did the penis enter the vagina? They were trying for a baby

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Knock Knock. Who's there? Knock Knock. Knock Knock Who? Knock Knock (:

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What is the different on a black guy and a bicycle ? The black guy steals the bicycle, but the bicycle dont steal the black guy. Yes, my bike got stolen ...

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Patty cake. Which was a pretty funny catchthingie.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Q: What did jerry sandusky do with little boys alone? A: Teach them how to play football

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What crime does a tree commit in order to be sent to prison? Trees on.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

How many Polacks does it take to screw in a light-bulb? One. A person's ethnicity or country of origin, or religion for that matter, would have no bearing on one's ability to perform the relatively simple task of installing a light-bulb. Furthermore, there is no reason to use the negative slur 'polack' when referring to a person of Polish descent.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What is the difference between a dead baby and a Lamborghini? I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What made Chuck Norris cry? Stubbing his toe

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why did the little girl cry when she fell off the slide? Because when she fell she hit the dirt ground, cause dust to fly into the air, he eyes started to water in response to keep her eyes from being damaged. The slide however, was taken down, too many children had been hurt while playing on it. The community is now pooling money together in order to build a new playground.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What is the difference between a black man and a burnt pizza? -Nothing there both black.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What's black and white and red all over. Half a zebra

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops