"Knock knock." "No."

Roses are red Violets are red Shit My garden's on fire?

What's worse than the holocaust? anti-joke

two scientists walk into a bar. one says, "i want h2o." the other says, "i want h2o too." the bartender gives them both water and nobody dies because he is not irresponsible enough to give someone concentrated hydrogen peroxide as a drink.

Whats worse than death? Getting expelled from Hogwarts

Why don't midgets live in penthouses? They can't reach the button in the elevator.

Whats Brown And Sticky?! My Shit!

WHO LET THE DOGS OUT?!?!?!!! Not Michael Vick.

Why did the trombone player have sex so often? Because he was hot.

Why was the little boy inside the house instead of playing with his friends outside? His dad just died from cancer.

What is the difference between Tiger Woods and Santa? Santa stops after 3 hos

A blind man walks into a bar. And a table. And a chair.

What's Brown and dirty? Dirt

Why can't Helen Kellen drive? She's a woman.

what did the frog say to the fence? chicken

What did the giraffe say to the human? Nothing, but it was trying to alert the human of an oncoming bus.

How did superman always save the day? Because he was a fictional tv actor so he could do whatever he wanted to.

what do friends and trees have in common? If you hit them with an axe multiple times they fall over

What did God say when he saw the first black man? What a wonderful creation I have made.

Joe goes to the bathroom with someone in the next stall named Bill Bill: "Hi" Joe: "Hi" Bill: "How you doing" Joe: "Good" Bill: "You traveling" Joe: "Yes to Alabama" Bill: "Yeah, I got to go a guy in the next stall answering all my questions bye"

You know what rhymes with school? Hell.

Where did Sally go when the bomb went off? Everywhere.

Knock knock? Who's there? A Jehovah's Witness. Oh. Knock knock? Who's there? Not me!

Why did the little boy fall of his bicycle? It was the first time he road without his training wheels.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...