Kris- "Hey! Ask me if I'm a tree! Kait&Alyssa- ".....Are you a tree?...." Kris- "No.(:"

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What do you call a man with multiple sexual partners? Well, first you strongly urge him to get tested for any contagious and potentially dangerous STD's that could have been transmitted from one partner's genitalia to another person's genitalia which could have very well been he himself. They could be life threatening. Oh, and call him by his first name.

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What's black and red all over? Half a cat

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A antijoke? The "new and better" Duke Nukem. "Power armor is for poossies! My ego is going to... ARGH! Both my arms are blown away... well Duke Nukem is too awesome! He uses his legs..ARGH MY LEGS! Well Duke Nukem is dead... but his ego will keep the remains of his corpse fighting aliens! Yeah ego!" Nukem: I got balls of fail...

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Your mammas so fat, she weighs significantly more than the average person.

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my friend died in a car crash, now i have no friends.

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Why Didn't The Teenager Bring His Report Card Home to His Parents? Because He Was Murdered By Thugs Walking Home From School.

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What do you call a black man on the moon? An astronaut, you ***ing racist.

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What's the difference between an elephant and a Jew. The elephant has elephant cancer.

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what did the lamp say to the hand? You turn me on

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What do you get when you have 5 Russians, a few 8 year olds, and guns? A kidnapping

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What was the joke about that woman with altsimers again? Ironically I forgot.

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A man walks into a bar. He hasn't been there before, and it's a Friday so it's really crowded, and it's really quite a dive, so he and his girlfriend decide to leave and find somewhere else to eat.

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A blond, burnette, and red head walk into a bar. They sit together and enjoy a few drinks while catching up on eachother's lives.

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Q: whats worse than ten babies in one trash can A: one baby in ten trash cans

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Why won't Santa be delivering presents this year? Because he can't be bothered.

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Person 1: Why does food from Subway taste so good? Person 2: I don't know, why? Person 1: Because their ingredients are fresh. Person 2: Um, OK? Person 1: Yeah, it's all under 18. Person 2: Shit...

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You want to hear a joke. Sure. A black president. Oh wait...

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why did the one armed, bearded man, in a wheelchair go to the mall ? He wished to purchase yogurt and Tiger woods 2007 for the ps2

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give a man a blow job and he'll come for a second. teach a man to blow job and .... no that just doesn't work

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LeBron in the fourth quarter

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hey i just met you and this is crazy i have alzheimers hey i just met you

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What is the difference between 1000 dead babies and a Cadillac? I don't have a Cadillac in my garage.

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Pete and Repeat were on a boat. Pete fell off. Who was left? Repeat. Yeah.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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