Hey I just met you. And this is crazy. So get in my van. Cause I have candy.

Am I a cat? No, I am a human; cat's cannot type.

What has two wheels and a handle bar? A bike.

Where was little Sara when the bomb went off? Everywhere. "Knock Knock" "Who's there?" Sara's hands

How many fat Americans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One.

Where is one place everyone eventually goes to rest? A cemetery.

How do you sabotage someone's car? Drop a fridge on it

A Jehovah's Witness knocks on my door. I didn't answer the door.

You know why the economy is so bad? Years of giving into corporations instead of local business. This moves the profits to the owner of the company instead of mom and pop who will be giving it back to the local community.

What color do you get when you mix blue and red? Purple.

A black guy and a white guy both get pulled over by a cop for speeding. The white guy is promptly released with a stern warning, whle the black guy is thouroughly questioned and has his car searched for drugs, with the probable cause being that the black guy has bloodshot eyes, reeks of weed and has a bong in his frontseat.

What's the difference between a black man and a bench? A bench is an inanimate object.

What's red and bad for your teeth? A Brick

3 men are stranded on an island when they come across a brass lantern. The rub it and nothing happens. They all starve to death a day later.

I DON'T KNOW WHAT WE'RE YELLING ABOUT!!! LOUD NOISES!!!

Why did Jenny fail her driving test? She was hit by a train.

What is worse than eating shoxy poulet.? Nothing

Why did the white guy sit on the bench while the black guys were playing basketball? His mother was calling, and his AP scores were coming in that day. Those scores were important to him.

Whats slippery and wet? A wet slipper.

Q: How do you make scrach paper? A: Take a paper and scrach it.

What did George Washington say before he crossed the Delaware? "Get in the boat."

you know what's worse than being grounded? AIDS

A man walks into a bar... The steal bar hurt his face and had to get stitches.

Scientific fact: If you took all the veins from your body and laid them end to end, you would die.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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