How do you torture Helen Keller? You put her on a table and slowly pull her limbs off

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Redcunt? You got to try being nicer if you want a proper answer

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Q. Whats red and smells like blue paint? A. Wheres my tractor?

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And the guy who played Trapper John on MASH wins the coveted 'Last Famous TV Person to Die in 2015' award!!! Woooooooo!!!!

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Roses are red violets are blue you better run I see you

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What is worse then finding an apple in your worm? Not a lot.

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What do you call a girl who denies that she is one? Justin Beiber

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A black man sits down to have a legal conversation with his state appointed attorney for the first time being arrested. They lawyer advises him to tell him the truth of exactly what happened. He proceeds to do so and is provided with excellent legal advice.

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The grandfather's grandson said, "They charged me $10 just for a cup of coffee!" The grandfather said, "They charged me with bayonets."

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Why did the boy drop his iceccream?? He got hit by a bus??

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A bar walks into a man. The drink orders a bartender. And then the money walks home. End The.

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Q-"what did the carrot say to the plant" A-"nothing because neither one of these objects can talk"

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What's worse than getting a flat tire on a date? getting one while rushing your dying grandfather to the hospital.

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A man was running from drug dealers When they had him cornered he ran towards the sun and died

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Roses are blue, Violets are red, Wait, what? huh

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What do you call a person mowing a lawn? A Mexican

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why did the little girl eat grapes? because she felt like it.

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why did the monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? it was stapled to the monkey

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Yo mammas so stupid she has a profound intellectual disability.

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your momma is so fat that when she steps on the scale it shows that she is overwhieght

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Knock, knock! Who's there?! Your Mom! Your Mom who? No really. Let me in.

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Roses are red violents are blue I have 5 figures and the middle one is for you

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Yeah, it makes sense if you think about it, I changed my alias back and forth from Axel Knight, to Axel White, first because Axel White sounded not only as a opposite to Nero, but also because it sounded like something a Nazi leader would call himself, we went renegade and used that in order to draw in and bust a lot of Neo Nazi`s with enough money and bad intentions to make bad stuff happen. But thats another story, I heard about an Axel Knight partaking in Point Zero, had I known you where the leader (I hope you are being honest friend) I would have warned you much sooner, but there was no way for me to know if you where working together... Since you literally where.

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roses are red violets are too im bleeding

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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