your mother is so fat that her doctor advised her to stick to a strict diet and exercise routine to help her lose weight

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What's the difference between 31 dead hookers and a Lamborghini? One is a traumatizing tragedy that left at least 31 poor families mourning for their loved ones, whom were only trying to make a living in what is a terrible economy and were unable find a better job, and the other is an overpriced sports car.

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Whats the difference between Michael Jackson and a grocery bag? One holds groceries and the other molests little children.

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Daddy look! Roses! No son, those are rhododendrons... Daddy how do you spell rhododendrons? Uh... never mind son those are roses. So... Daddy how do you spell roses? Son, never mind that is a dog. So daddy how do you spell... SHUT UP! Moral: I put a spell on you.

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Why did the little girl cry? The little girl cried for mercy as her attackers violated every inch of her innocent body, tearing her up from the inside until her organs were forced out of her anus and blood squirted from her ears as the pressure inside her body exceeded to a maximum. After the attackers were done with the corpse, they cut off her limbs and stapled them to her head.They placed her now decomposing body on the front porch of the worried parents' house and rang the doorbell.

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Sally walked into a bar and asked for a drink. Because she was under 21 they denied her request,

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What did the sniper say when a newsreporter asked what he felt when he shot a terrorist? The sniper replied: Recoil.

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How many Jews can you fit in an oven? None, it's illegal.

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Q. Why did Michael Jackson call Boys II Men? A. He thought it was a home delivery service.

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Wanna hear a riddle? Womens rights

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why did the chicken cross the road? becuase he needed to get to the other side and he was using a crosswalk

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Billy was so silly that he named his pet zebra Spot.

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If you dumb fooks keep swearing we are going to get banned.

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What's the humor in an elevator? Me jumping up and down yelling we r all gonna die.

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How do you make a plumber cry? You kill his family.

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"Hheheheh Hey Butthead"- "Were Gonna Score!"

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What do you call a Black person in a city with high crime rates? Whatever their name happens to be.

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What do you call a dick with blonde hair? Joffrey Baratheon.

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This joke is funny

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What's black and white and in the desert? Tourists being held hostage by a tribe.

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What is worse than finding a dead baby in a dumpster? F*cking midgets

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want to hear a joke? then go ask someone else i dont know any.

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why can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom T H E R E ' R E A L L D E A D!!!

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Thank you so much Nero, I have read it and I am crying because I am happy, at first I was worried because I have never cried out of happiness before. But its over. Nero, you underestimate yourself a lot, promise me we will work with that together, sometimes you almost convince me you are as inferior as you say, but then you get out of your shell of doubt your past has caused in you (its not you when you doubt yourself its what they put in you), you are always there when people need you, teach me hypnosis someday and let me remove that part of you which does not allow you to believe in yourself. Dont reply Nero, calm down and sleep, I feel you are allright, I just know.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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