The speakers on my computer were broken, so I was going to replace them with John Boehner. Because he is the SPEAKER of the house.

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im a willy bum bum

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What happens when you walk around with a kick me sign on your back? you get punched in the face. How are you supposed to know it says kick, you cant see your own back.

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What is the best game in the world? There is no answer because that would be an opinion and opinions cannont be proved or measured.

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A jew walks into a bar and asked for 5 shots the bartender replies to him "did you and your wife have a fight" "yeah now shes atheist"

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Why are fire trucks red Well fire trucks have 4 wheels, and they have 8 people in them, 4+8, is 12, there are 12 inches in a foot, a foot is a ruler, Queen Elizabeth was a ruler, Queen Elizabeth was a boat, boats sail the seven seas, fish are in the seven seas, fish have fins, the Finns defeated the Russians, Russians are red, And that is why fire trucks are red.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? My arm! My arm who? My arm is everywhere!

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Why was the jew so happy? He won the lottery which at the time was 3.40 dollars

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João Duarte reads this.

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What do you call a black man that can steal, shoot, and jump? A basketball player.

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Whats a welfare? Its what keeps you alive.

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Your mother is so fat, she appeals to my secret fetish.

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How do you address a gay, jewish, african male? You can't, as addressing a person would imply mailing them. And that would violate their human rights. As well, the cost of shipping a package of that size would be rather prohibitive

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A genie walks into a bar. The bartender asks for three wishes. The genie says "okay". The bartender says "I wish I was the richest person in the world." The genie says "okay." Then He woke up

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I knocked on my neighbors door to complain about the horrible smell before remembering I killed him the week before, he has no family and no one will ever know.

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-Knock, knock. -Who's there? -The pest control guy. -Please leave me alone I'm giving birth.

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GUESS WHAT GUESS WHAT GUESS WHAT i farted. : l

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Limerick There once was a man from mass whos balls were made out of brass he clank them together to make stormy weather and lightning came out of his ass

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A: Knock Knock B: ...

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What happens when you try to rescue a cat from a tree? It jumps on your face, falls down, and dies.

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Why didn't the Mexican dwarf eat his taco? Well, he actually started, but he had already had one earlier. So, he gave half to his friend who gladly accepted the free taco.

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What's so sad about a bus with mentally handicapped children falling off a cliff? There was one empty seat.

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What did the Catholic Priest say to the little boy? May God be with you.

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Roses are red violits are blue I have ADHD do you like cats?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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