whats green andthrows forks at you? a blonde painted green in a bush wih a gun and a fly on her eye

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Why do alcoholics use brown bags? Because they are ashamed of what they have become and seek to repress their guilt by entering into denial.

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What was Tyler's last name? Grzesik.

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Fun fact: Steel wool comes from the fleeces of iron sheep.

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i know a guy called ryan he is a benny he has a combover

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Why did the boy have a rash? He didn't, it was a birthmark.

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What's worse than World War II? World War III.

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What is the cow doing? Because 7,8,9

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I asked a girl on a date. She said no.

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How come Kristin cant go play soccer anymore? She broke her leg kicking her brother in the face.

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Moo! I'm a goat!

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the best thing about an anti-joke is when the punch line doesn't hit you, you feel no pain

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What did the woman find when she got home from the post office? Her son's corpse hanging from a clothes hanger. She was an abusive mom, and he killed himself.

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billy has 100 candy bars he eats 78 of them what does he have now diabetes

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Q: A blonde, a red-head, and a brunette all jump off the bridge at the same time. Who hits the ground first? A: As stated by Sir Isaac Newton's third law of gravitation, all three fall to their deaths at the exact same time because the velocity of a falling object is unaffected by the mass of that object... or their hair colour. Idiot.

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How old is your mom Dead

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I asked a Jewish girl for her number, so she rolled up her sleve

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Once upon a time, there was a a loving couple. When they first kissed, the girl's heart skipped a beat, but it wasn't because of love. It was a heart murmur. She died. The end.

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How many Muslims does it take to screw in a light bulb? One.

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One day a farmer was planting his crops. All of a sudden he was hit by the magic school bus.

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Winter

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Why cant t-rexes clap their hands? They no longer exist

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What's worse than getting a fly stuck up your nose? Been alone in a hospital room with Jimmy Saville.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse then precedes to beat the bartender voraciously for making fun of his religion.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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