What's rape when you shout surprise? The crime, committed by a man, of forcing another person to have sexual intercourse with him, especially by the threat or use of violence.

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Hello

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What color do you get when you mix blue and red? Purple.

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A woman is in a terrible car crash. The husband comes in, runs to the doctor and he says "Doctor! My wife...is she going to make it?" The doctor turns and says "your wife will survive, but she's experienced heavy brain trauma. She will never walk again. You'll have to bathe her, feed her, change her diapers, and cater to her every need." The husband starts crying and says "oh my God that's terrible! Are you serious?" The doctor replies "Yes."

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Q: what is blue and floats in a pool? A: a baby Q: what is purple and at the bottom of the pool? A: the baby 5 minutes later

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Whats the difference between a Philadelphia Flyers fan and a pedophile? What they are.

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Whats worse than pulling down a girls pants and seeing a giant furry bush... finding out her vagina has teeth in it.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, come at me again and I'll punch you

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Yo momma so fat she when god said let there be let he said get the fuck out the way!

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Why did the Chicken cross the road? Because, the farmer lacked basic fence mending skills.

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What is the difference between the number 20 and 21 1

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If Chuck Norris were to roundhouse you. Then something previously happened before the altercation, that caused tension.

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why did the grandmom make rollerblades into cookies? because she had dementia

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The ULTIMATE Street Fighter shotokan safety guide one Turbo masters tournament X Revenge Kombat Super Ultimate Alpha Omega F*** Y** Edition! 1. I case an attack breaks both your legs, use your last remaining strength in order to kick the air with one leg, while keeping the other one straight down, then immediatedly yell MYLEGSARBROKEN! In order to receive medical attention. And please remember: If Hadou can, then you Sure can! 2. DLC ONLY 3 DLC ONLY 4. DLC Only. ...hayball rolls trough... 9001: DLC only

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Q: Why is Alzheimer not funny? A: To get to the other side.

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Why did Johnny lose the race he got jawed by a pack of chimpanzees

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knock knock ? Who's there ? idunnop idunnop who ? Eww you've done a what?!

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Q: What's the difference between a jew and a pizza? A: One is a person, one is a food.

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whats worse than being raped by a giant scorpion getting raped by 2 giant scorpions

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what worse the 2 dead kids in a van 3 dead kids in a van

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What's worse than a duck with one leg? A nuclear explosion

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What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? A watermelon doesn't scream when you cut it open.

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??????????? ??????????????? "Hello, idiot teacher! You eat milk."

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What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? One is something I love to eat, the other is a watermelon.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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