How do u get Hitler out of a car? You open the door.

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How do you milk a cow? Pull on its' utters.

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A man walks into a bar, muttering to himself. People stare at him because his severe Schizophrenia makes him stand out in social situations.

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My mother-in-law fell down a stairway. I turned to my wife and said “Call an ambulance!!”

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What did the cat say to the dog? Nothing. Cats can't talk.

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How do Germans treat the Jewish? Kindly, and with much hospitality.

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A man is driving and hits a woman. Who's fault is it? The man's: pedestrians always have the right of way.

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A blind man walks into a bar. But he wasn't hurt badly and continued on his way.

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Do you want to hear a racist joke? I hate black people...

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Why was the middle-aged doctor morbidly obese? He liked bacon and was severely hypocritical.

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my goldfish never writes me back when i send him letters

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black people are white when i use night gogles

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why are black people scared of chain saws? because it goes runnigganigganiggarunnigganigganigga

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there was a Black and Mexican in a car who was driving? the cop

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Why did the little boy run away from the beach? Hurricane Irene.

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Anti deep thoughts, by Fabian Monge'. The other day while parked at a stop light i was looking in the rear view mirror at the person who was blowing his horn at me. I then realized that while i was looking back at him the light had been green for a while. I then thought that i had better drive forward because i was holding up traffic, and that it was very selfish of me to waste other peoples time like that while wondering what was going on behind me instead of what was happening in front of me. In the time it took for me to come to this conclusion, i had wasted another few seconds of someones time. How very selfish of me.....

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Yo mama's so fat she needed a toilet that had a bigger seat (just like me)

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When an intellectual was told by someone, "Your beard is now coming in," he went to the rear entrance and waited for it. Another intellectual asked what he was doing. Once he heard the whole story, he said: "I'm not surprised that people say we lack common sense. How do you know that it's not coming in by the other gate?"

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How do you stop a black man from spitting? People of all races and colours are quite within their right to spit on their own property whenever they wish. However if anyone spits on or near you, you could report him to the police, but don't expect to be taken seriously.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Its 2 in the morning Go the f+%& to sleep.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? ........ It turns out it was Helen Keller.

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Who died first the cow or the cow? The Cow

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Q: what are very funny A: Jokes

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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