An anorexic women walks into McDonalds

Little Johnny asks his teacher "What's 23 times 3?" She yelled, "Be quiet, Johnny, and grow up!"

What time is it when an elephant sits on your fence? Given the unlikely circumstance in which an elephant actually does sit on your fence, it is equally unlikely said elephant would be able to do so unseen by witnesses, of whom you may ask what time the event occurred. Assuming your witness thought to look at the time befor calling animal control.

Why did the woman cross the road? To welcome the new neighbors.

Knock, knock. Who's there? Doctor. Doctor who? *snicker* F*ck a duck.

Whats brown, large, thick, and sticky? a stick

Where do you find a good lawyer? In the cemetary

how much did the asian man pay for his operation? nothing. he's dead.

You can tell I have many friends because I got them to like this.

If i was a painting... Id hang myself

ALCATRAZ IS REOPENED!

What did the ice cream man ask the little boy? Want some ice cream?

what did the chicken cross the road? because its a chicken

What's the difference between Michael Jackson and Neil armstrong Neil armstrong walks on the moon...Michael Jackson molests little boys

What's even worse than getting a parking ticket on your birthday? Child molestation.

How do you teach an asian baby to read? Enroll him in a good pre-school and practice regularly.

What did the black man say to the fat Irish lady? Hi.

?"i'm so turned on right now." - horny light bulb

The man was so nice It's too bad he couldn't hear the bus coming.

Hey, austin, what are you doing?

why did the cow cross the road because he wanted to go to the mooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooove

Cat ate a battery, did volts.

Why did Billy fall off his bike? He tried to kill himself.

Sometimes when I'm horny, I put vinegar on my diick

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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