Q: Why did the little Canadian girl start crying ? A: Because her mum through a fridge at her.

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I have a meeting with a man about a horse. I have a chance to win the triple crown. Barboro is gonna do awesome. Oh wait he is dead.

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What is the difference between a dolphin and a ghost? A dolphin is not a ghost

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Why did the girl fall of the swing? I hit her with an axe.

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On Tuesday mornings at 7:32 a.m., what is the square root of 31? I don't know, because it would be an irrational number of which is not possible to calculate without the aid of a calculator. However, the date and time would not affect the answer.

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Gary: Stick your tongue out and say "I live in a pirate ship" Bruce: *sticks tongue out* "I lib inna pile of shiiit."

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What's the difference between a corvette and a pile of dead babies? A pile of dead babies is a horrible tragedy.

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Why did Oliver fall? He shot himself.

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Whats faster than a black guy with a TV? His brother with a VCR.

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What's funnier then 24... The Holocost

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Here's another:

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You know what is totally sick? A person with stage II cancer.

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Why are tests such a pain in the ass? Because your vomiting shit you'd learned the night before.

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What did the black man say to the other black man? Nothing, he was recently involved in a terrible car accident which he barely survived but lost the function of speech and was paralysed from the neck downwards. He is constantly in pain and desperately wants someone to kill him but has no way of communicating this so is forced to wait until his natural death.

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whats long, hairy, and has one eye? my cat fluffy, he has cancer.

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You know what really grinds my gears? Insufficient lubricant.

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whats super and the champions of europe? Leeds United

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I'm so hungry I could eat a well prepared meal!

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what do you call an exited rectangle? an Erectangle

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How many alzheimer's patients does it take to change a light bulb? To get to the other side

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What's black and white and red all over? A chess board; I lied about the "red all over" part.

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Where does a blind person drive a car? Into a tree.

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what do you call a woman who has sex for money? smart.

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Why was bobby late for school? Because he drove off a bridge.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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