what do you order when it's a sunday in nyc during a solar eclipse on a leap year past 12:00 pm? what ever you like

thumb_up thumb_down +1

whats red, brown and blown up? a hampster in a microwave

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What did one say to the other woman? I have a penis

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Seven

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Ben has 3 apples and Charlie has 2 apples, how many carrots can fit in my anus? Banana, because cows have 4 legs

thumb_up thumb_down +1

The kid was riding a honda xr70r. He got hit by a non moving object and died.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What did the astronaut say to his girlfriend?

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What did the fat man buy at Mcdonalds? A unicorn

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did the clown fall out of the helicopter?? Gravity

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Stephen Walking hawks into a bar.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did the woman go to the kitchen? The same reason she went to the bathroom, she needed to wash her hands because she was finger painting. Her husband was using the bathroom.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What do a spoon and a platypus have in common? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

There are four worms moving in a straight line, one in front of the other. The first worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me!" The second worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" The third worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" The third worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" How can this be? ...the fourth worm lied.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What's big and hairy my penis just kidding It's Bigfoot

thumb_up thumb_down -1

why was the black man blind? because he was black.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Knock Knock! Who's there? Your neighbor. Ok, Come in.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

How many babiess it take to paint a house? Depends on how hard you throw them.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

why did the bird fall out of the tree? Earth's Gravitational pull

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Did you hear about the alter boy that wasn't molested by a priest?

thumb_up thumb_down -1

The other day, a buddy of mine gave me some of his sandwich. "My wife made it," he said. "It's really good," I answered. We chewed in silence after that.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What happens when you leave Toby alone in your house? He eats your carpet, some pillows, ur dog, ned, neds dog and a glass panel. This is why 2 +h = plugger +Mount Everest (I is potato annoying). Bonjour.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What do accountants do when they're constipated? Take a laxative and eat plenty of fiber.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Poop!!

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Okay, hundred billions, and because I am fucking hungry, we make it perpetual, now the longer you keep the feeling going, the stronger and stronger and you know, trillions, indefillions, nondecillions, hell, make up your own numbers and just consider them higher. Bet its starting to feel pretty nice huh?

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops