What did Jesus say when he was nailed to the cross? Nothing, he was in tremendous pain.

What's worse than homework? A basket full of mutilated puppies....

Roses are grey. Violets are grey. I'm a dog.

Penis. (Note: if you get this you have a dirty ass)

Why couldn't little Timmy turn in his homework? Because on the way to school little Timmy was hit by a bus

What starts with "R" and ends in "JUR"? RJUR.

Why is Michael Jackson bad at checkers? Cause he's dead.

What's green and has wheels? A green car.

Why did the little boy fall down the steps? Because he wasn't a very stable person.

What do you call a person rolling down a hill, in a burning car, with a pack of wolves running after him? DEAD!

What do you call a baby girl that has grown up? A women

Why did Susie fall out the swing, Because I hate disabled people and i pushed her

why was the carrot sad? it was stuck in an antelopes anus

How do you drown a blonde? You hold her head under water until water gets into her lungs and she cant breathe.

knock knock who's there the german police now pack your stuff and get out

A man walks into a bar. He says ouch.

I was reading a book about antigravity, but I put it down because it was boring.

How do you kill a blonde? You shoot her.

Q:Why did Jimmy eat an apple? A:He was hungry.

Why did the chicken cross the road... so people could keep asking that question for 4000 years

a fat old hobo named da'shovant'e ate a bucket of fried chicken then killed a little girl named poopface McFergusen

There once was a man from Nantucket who lost most of his savings by making bad investment decisions.

What do you call a black man on the moon? An astronaut.

What is black and white and red all over? A skunk in a blender.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...