Thomas Hobbes had a happy life. Actually he didnt, he was born prematurely causing his mother to die. Then his dad left him at an early age to the care of an abusive older brother because he was an alcohollic. He did inspire many political beliefs though

Women Sports.

A Duck walks into a bar and says to the bartender, "I'd like to buy some peanuts." The bartender says, "Sorry, we don't sell peanuts." The duck turns around and leaves.

Two guys walk into a bar. The Third ones a duck

Why can a bird fly Because it's not a banana

why did suzy drop her ice cream? she got hit by a bus. knock knock! who's there? not suzy.

What Did The Ocean Say To The Other Ocean? What? Nothing, They Just Waved. Oh. Did You Sea What I Did There? No. I'm Shore You Did.

What does Kim Kardashian and a Navy Vessel have in common? They are both full of seamen!

Help I'm being raped!

What's white and looks like paper? Paper

A blonde, a brunette and a redhead dive off a yacht. Unfortunately the yacht is in a shop and all 3 of them sustain injuries following impact with the concrete floor.

Roses are red violets are ponies I dont know what to say mircowave

Is this the Krusty Krab? No, This is Patrick.

How do you make a baby fly? Hit it's mother in the stomach.

This joke is not funny, So don't read it.

Did you know that if you get all your intestines, and laid it out across the floor in a line, you would die?

why did the chicken cross the road? because it wanted to get to the other side! why did the chipmunk cross the road? because it was stapled to the chicken

Q: why didn't the little black boy have a father? A: because he unfortunately died at the age of 48 with pancreatic cancer.

Why did the chicken smoke weed? Because he was black

Knock, knock. Who is there? Child services, here to take your children. The following day, there is another knock at the door. Who is there? The police. The woman runs into the kitchen and kills herself.

Hey wanna hear joke? ........ yeah .......me too

What's the difference between a BMW and a murder victim? I don't have a BMW in my garage.

What do a plane and a flight attendant have in common? They're both going somewhere in their careers. Aside from the flight attendant.

how did i know i had a new puppy?...... i found out when i was scraping it off my truck tire

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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