Your moms so ugly, that when i took her out to eat for dinner we built an everlasting relationship. Thats why you call me dad.

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There's a skunk and a lawyer standing on the side of the road, what's the difference? There are tire marks infront of the skunk.

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knock, knock Who's there? A social worker, we are taking your children into costody because your wife has reported you to the police for molesting them.

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What smells like weed? the person who smoked it.

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You: I have a question Person: Yes You: Do you have an answer?

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how do you make a plumber cry? you hit him in the face

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A man sees another man standing at the edge of a tall bridge looking down. Man: Don't jump! No one wants you to die. You have your whole life to live and I'm sure you will find happiness somewhere. I was once in the same position as you, questioning if god really wanted me on this earth at all. But I decided to make something of myself and now I am a very successful busness man. You can do the same if you just put your mind to it and put your troubles behind you. Other man: I was just admiring the view.

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A sad horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "why the long face?" the horse answers "My wife was just diagnosed with terminal cancer."

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Why couldn't the man lick his elbows? Because it is scientifically proven that over 98% of humans can not lick their elbows.

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Q: what r u eating under there? A: underwear ewww thats nasty

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hey John will you make some copies

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor.

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Yo mama so fat she went on a diet and steadily lost wait

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Roses are Red Violets are Purple Not blue

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what do you call an exited rectangle? an Erectangle

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Q :Why cant mexicans be firemen A :because they get mixed up by Hosea and Hose B

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he thought he saw a dangerous predator in the area and crossed the road in an attempt to flee the dangerous situation.

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What happens when you cut down a tree? It falls over.

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How do you stop clowns from throwing cinderblocks at your car? Hire a hitman.

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What's worse than getting shot in the face? Nothing really because that could leave you seriously handicapped for the remainder of your life or there is a good chance that you are dead.

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Q: Why did the crazy man stare at the orange juice container? A: Because it started talking.

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A dyslexic man walks into a bra. It was hanging on a clothes line he didn't see.

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What do you call a kite that doesn't fly. A broken kite.

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top kek

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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