I'm a champion. I do what I want.

what did Susie, the girl with no arms, say after she fell off the swing? nothing, she was killed on impact.

What happened to truck full of watermelons careening down the hill? After panicking, the driver was able to gain composure, and shifting the truck into a lower gear, was able to deliver the track safely to the side of the road at the bottom of the ill, where he sat down alongside of the road under the shade of an apple tree, sucking on delicious watermelon.

Why is Helen Keller a bad driver? Because her inability to see or hear makes her an extremely dangerous road hazard.

What did the rock say to the other rock? Nothing they're rocks? What did the tree say to the other tree? Nothing they're both trees? What did the pillow say to the other pillow? Nothing they're both pillows? What did the cat say to the other cat? Meow.

Chrysanthemums our orange violettes are musical

What's Brown and dirty? Dirt

Bariande: I have a belly button Kraken: haha who doesnt? MissAwkward: i dont Barinade: neither do i. haha this happened on tiny chat.

Whats black,White and Asian? everything we are all equal

How did the two blondes stay alive at the bottom of a pool for half an hr? They didn't and they died.

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was a cannibal and like to burn people.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Hold on. Let me think of an answer.

Why did the man get a haircut? Because he had long hair.

Q: why did the pie cross the road? A: Pie is not a living thing and has no way of transportation, therefor the pie did not cross the road.

A tree falls in the woods. A deaf boy, who had been frolicking through the forest, is struck down by the tree. He dies. His parents are ridden with grief for years, until finally the father commits suicide. The mother soon remarried and had two more children. Both died before the age of 15. She was a horrible mother.

What do you call a pile of dead children? Home

what'd one jew say to the other jew? i cant eat this its ham. (sounds better when said with disappointed jew voice)

Quantum Mechanics is so difficult to understand, somewhere Stephen Hawking just walked into a bar.

A white rapper. HAHAHAHAHAHA oh ya he was muslim.

what did the stop sign say to the car? nothing.

world peace

What did the sheep say to the Commonwealth Committee on September 11 2001? Baabaaabaaaahhh

Q: What did the kid with no arms get for christmas? A: A set of Legos

Whats red and bad for your teeth? A brick Courtesy of: http://samsjokeoftheweek.moonfruit.com/

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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