How do you make an electrician fall over? You hit him hard with a lamp

What is green, brown, has four legs and would kill you if it fell on you from out of a tree? A pool table

Hey, have you seen Steve Wonder's house? No. Neither has he.

Why was the girl so stupid? She had mental retardation caused my Down Syndrome.

Why was the girl crying? Because she was brutally raped

Penis.

What's the difference between a cow and a cow? Nothing, they are both the same.

There once was a man named Steve. One day, Steve stumbled stupidly, shredding his shirt, shoes and shorts and subsequently shocking Susie; a small shy salsa student. When he arrived home, Steve's wife asked "how was your day dear?" Steve panicked at the thought of having to explain this traumatic event, but thankfully he had undergone speech therapy for his lisp.

What's the difference between my father and my mother. My father isn't an alcoholic

Did you hear about the man with 3 balls? He liked tennis

A woman catches her husband cheating on her she divorces him in a rather lengthy sequence of meetings in court

why was sally bleeding? they never buy band-aids over her nubs.

Why did the boy throw the clock out of the window? Because it was broken.

-Knock Knock -Who's there? -Peter

What did the President give his wife for her birthday? Women's Rights.

How long does it take a woman to park a car? Shouldn't take long, depends on the size of the parking spot.

How do you get a one armed blonde out of a tree? You shoot at the blonde. Causing her to fall, but I have a feeling she will be pretty mad!

What's better than Jack Daniels? Jack Daniels Jr.

A skeleton walks into a bar and orders a beer and mop. In turns out the bartender was a paranoid schizophrenic and was hallucinating.

two kids find a condom so they decide to show their mum the mum snatched it off them saying never to touch one of them again the kids went to their room "Mum sounded pretty angry about that thing "Lucky we didnt tell her about the yohgurt we drank out of it

A man decided to commit suicide. He did.

Why did the little girl drop her school books? A kid jacked her in the head with a brick.

Chuck Norris does not get sick; He only gets sick when his immune system is weak.

What did the ocean say to the black guy? Nothing, it just shot him.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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