How do you kill two birds with one stone. You don't its not humanly possible because birds cannot be killed with rocks.

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what's the only thing funnier than a dead baby nailed to a tree? The look on the mom's face.

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Two black men and a latino board a plane together. They are members of the Marshall High School football team, and all die in the subsequent crash.

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Last christmas, I gave you my heart, and the very next day, you're body rejected the transplant and you died.

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You tell your mom she's a bitch and she later commits suicide by shooting herself in the head . Now, what's the only thing ductape can't fix? Your moms skull.

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What do you get when you throw a white hat in the red sea? A wet hat.

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Why was the old man on the floor? He fell

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Whats worse than burnt toast? Getting molested

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Whats worse than not coming up with an original anti joke? Nothing.

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Why did the beachball get sad after it was deflated? Beachballs don't have emotions.

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Two pretzels were walking down the street. One was assaulted. The other, witnessing what he'd seen, developed a harsh stereotype.

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"Free to play" Play free "right now"

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What did the homosexual give in his secret box? important papers from work.

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How do you kill a blonde? Drench her in fluoroantimonic acid and watch her explode in a violent and gruesome death.

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What did one cannibal say to the other while they were eating a clown? Well, I couldn't understand them... It's hard to pronounce anything clearly when your mouth is full, which is why you don't eat and speak simultaneously.

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What did the boy with four arms get for Christmas? A Laptop. Why couldn't he use it? He had no fingers.

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Whats your name? Bill. I have a son named Kevin.

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What happened when the prisoner dropped the soap? He picked it up.

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Why does Rupert The Bear wear checkered trousers? Because he's a twat.

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Q:what do you call a black man in a wheel chair? A: a war veteran who accidentally stepped on a land mine while trying to protect his country.

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Q: What did jerry sandusky do with little boys alone? A: Teach them how to play football

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall It depends on how hard you throw them

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What does two plus two equal? 4

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Whats red and smells like cherries? Cherries

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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