Roses are red, Violoets are blue, I accidentally shat my pants. Brb

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did the mexican jump over the fence? It was a shortcut.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Knock Knock -Who's there I eat mipe -I eat mipewho hahahah -Oh I'm gonna beat your ass

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why was the fat guy sad? his daughter is slowly dying of anorexia why was the fat guy sad? his daughter was raped by a giant panda bear

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Knock knock who's thare Your mom She's dead you bitch

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What do you call a gay couple with jobs and a kid?? Responsible.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What did the blind kid get for Christmas? Same ones he got last year.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

jcjdj

thumb_up thumb_down +4

How do you know when a bag of chips is stale? It is past the expiration date.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Q: What's the answer to this question? A: The question to this answer.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

racism...deal with it!

thumb_up thumb_down +4

I'm 4 and what is this?

thumb_up thumb_down +4

There are two muffins in the oven. One says: "It's really getting hot in here!" The other one can't reply because it is already dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Roses are red, Violets are blue. So was my son after I beat him to death.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did the chicken cross the road? Earlier that morning the farmer's daughter had inadvertently left the gate to the yard open as she was preoccupied by her worry over a maths test set for that day. She hadn't studied for the test as she was still deeply distressed over her fathers recent heart attack. This, coupled with the added burden of household chores now delegated to her because her mother was out trying to get the west field prepared for sowing, had made her quite forgetful and distracted of late. Whilst several chickens escaped, only one strayed so far that it actually encountered the road facing the farm. After crossing the road and gorging itself in a soy-bean crop, the chicken was struck by a furniture remover's van as it attempted to make its way home. Several hours later the dead chicken was spotted by a Community Mental Health Worker who was doing his bi-weekly rural clinic run. The chicken, being a bantam, caught the eye of the Mental Health worker, who was a keen trout fisherman. "Cool" thought the mental health worker- "those feathers will make for excellent trout flies". He stopped and plucked a handful of the most iridescent blue, green and orange feathers and placed them in an envelope. He rolled himself a cigarette, sat on the trunk of his car and admired the clouds. "God, I love this job", he muttered to no one in particular.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did the baby stop crying? It had been smothered to death by it's sleep- deprived single mother.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

what did the terrorist get for christmas? probably nothing because terrorists are steriotypically muslim, but i imagine if not it was a gift close to his heart

thumb_up thumb_down +4

New Name for Jersey Shore: American Whorer Story

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Whats the differance between a blond and a rock? I don't know. I can't think of any.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

I like my women like I like my pancakes: Flipped over, inanimate, motionless, and covered in my syrup.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Ask me for £1000 Can I have £1000 No get a job

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What did the blind man say to his teacher? Nothing, blind people can't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Being in an abusive relationship.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

So what have you overcome? I mean I know alot about you, but little about your personal deeper self, with that said, you telling me you are some kind of X-men when it comes to genetics?

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops