what did the egg say to the boiling water? itll take a while to get hard cause i just got laid by a chick.

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Z.

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Why cant t-rexes clap their hands? They no longer exist

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Knock knock Who's there? You're adopted.

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what did the caterpillar say to the butterfly? Im gonna turn into you.

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what do you call a screwdriver that thinks it'sa hammer? a screwdriver

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One day a child goes to the doctor and says, "it hurts when do this" as he pokes his throat. The doctor, after several well-performed deep tissue testing, diagnosed the child with stage four esophageal cancer. The child cried himself to sleep that night.

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A woman walks into a bar She is raped.

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What's the difference between a black man and a bench? A bench is an inanimate object.

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A homeless guy on the brink of starvation found one dollar lying on the street. He took it and bought a lottery ticket at the local drugstore. God was looking down on him with pity that day and decided that day that he would no longer be a vagabond. The next day, the homeless man won the lottery jackpot, worth 100 million dollars. He declared that on that day, he was the luckiest and happiest man alive. He then woke up in a pile trash.

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What do you get when you cross professor plum with a candle stick in the library? A dead prostitute. Try and be more careful next time.

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Why did susie fall off the swing? She didn't have any arms... Why didn't she get up? She didn't have any legs... Why didn't anyone help her? She didn't have any friends. Then she died

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Why are their so many lesbians? cause they LOVE the pussy.. (Tastes soo wet and tight)

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Knock Knock! Whos There? Paul Okay I was expecting you

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A kangaroo walks into a bar and says "Lipstick is the blood of all wounds." The bartender does not know how the kangaroo said this or why.

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why did the donkey kick the men bc he tryed to pen the tail on hes ass

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Roses are orange Violets are grey I love penguins Damn Jews

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What did the mexican say to the black person? Hey there! How are you today?

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Why are black people so good at basketball? Not all black people are skilled at basketball

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Knock knock! Ding dong.

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An Irishman, an Englishman, and a Scottishman walks into a bar. They had a good time.

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What's brown and dirty? Dirt.

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How do you make a plumber cry? You kill his family.

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An elephant walks in to a dry cleaners and asks the Chinese man behind the counter for the price of cleaning two shirts. The man replies, "$3.00."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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