i hate this glue. give me one new or i will poo.

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Why didn't the boy drop his ice cream He was hit by a bus and he wasn't eating ice cream

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text your mom saying you need help, then turn on vibrate and shove the phone up your ass.

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What did the boy with cancer get for Christmas? An amputation.

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What's worse than a stain on your carpet? Two stains on your carpet

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laughter is the best medicine, unless you have cancer...you will die

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Why did the black guy smell fried chicken? He had a brain tumour

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first monkey.

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Q: what do you call a guy with no arms and no legs floating in the ocean? A: A very unfortunate individual.

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Why did the man commit suicide? Because on top of his depression, his wife had been cheating on him and his kids all died in a horrible hand-gliding mishap.

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What do you say to a black man with a gun? Don't shoot me.

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Why can't helen Keller read? She's dead.

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YOU

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What's the difference between a piece of chicken and a black guy? They were both once alive and innocent, I lied about the black guy.

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What did the black man say to the other black man? We are both black men.

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A man is shipwrecked on a desert island. One day, he finds an old lamp. When he rubs it, a genie appears. The genie says, "You have freed me. As a reward, I will grant you three wishes." The man smacks himself in the face and mutters, "Oh god, I'm seeing genies now. I must be delirious from lack of food and water." Several hours later, he dies.

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Why did the baby cross the road? Because it most likely saw a shiny object and wanted to play with it. Luckily there was no cars passing at the time but the parents should be more careful to keep thier child in sight and away from peril. That and the baby found a small piece of glass that could be harmful to it....

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my mom died because she was morbidly obese

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How do you make a sandwich? You don't, you have a girl do it for you.

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What's the difference between hot tea and cold tea? The temperature.

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Tunechi

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knock knock who's there your family just died your family just died who? -.-

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Hey guys! Today is September 10th you know what tomorrow means? Party at my house! ...What? It's my birthday.

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A middle aged bald man goes to Chuck E. Cheese with a hood and a lump in his back pocket. He has a somewhat enjoyable time with his offspring and leaves.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops