Why did the handicap man scream for help? Because he fell out of his wheel chair

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Q: On a scale of 1 to 10, what is your favorite color of the alphabet? A: Apple

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my uncle tommy is super religious. last month he's walking down the street, he gets mugged and shot in the chest. now miraculously (and i mean miraculously), he always keeps a bible in his left chest pocket. and he had something to read as he bled to death.

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What do you call a person with a cane? someone with a walking disability

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Hi i want a cheeseburger and a small fry, said bob. And then, said the guy taking the order. thats all, said bob. And then, said the guy. Ummmm ok well i take small coke, said bob. And then, said that guy. Thats all, said bob. and then, said the guy. whatever i'll take a milkshake, said bob. And then, said that guy. and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? Bill Walters from across the street. How are we talking through a door?

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Why did the little boy drop his ice cream? He didn't. He threw at the girl, and that's why she fell off the swing.

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three gay men were sitting in a hottub. a condom floats to the surface. why the hell were you watching them?

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Why did the other reindeer make fun of Rudolph? He had one nut

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why didn't the boy get any presents for his birthday? because when his dad went to the store to get him some presents he ended up buying presents for himself like a huge douchebag.... and the apple doesn't fall from the tree so his son is a douchebag too and doesn't deserve presents.

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your mom gave me head.....phones

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Why did the kid need glasses? A monkey threw a fridge at him.

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What is worse than a sharknado? A bullcano.

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why did the bear fall out of the tree? the bear got shot

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Scrub that muck off at once Hubert Cumberdale!

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What do you get when you cross the Godfather with a lawyer? This would be unlikely to happen, as it would cut the story short.

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a mother: my little boy always asks me to take him to see dinosaurs...but they are extinct. me: take him to a museum you dumb bitch!

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Knock knock. Whose There? Megan Megan Who? Your Wife...

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What did the terminally sick child dream of? I dont know. He never woke up to tell me.

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Which hockey player has scored the monst goals of all time? He-Shoot-Si Scores

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What do you get when two chickens cross a road? -Salmonella stricken hobos

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My tractor broke down.

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How do you stop a bird from flying? Shoot it with a harpoon gun.

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Why wasn't the girl raped? Cause she wasn't attractive.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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