What do a turtle and a tree have in common? They both can fly except for the turtle............and the tree

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Why was the boy kissing up to his parents? He only wanted them to say "I love you" for once.

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Your mother is so obese, that when shot with a high velocity round from a handgun, the bullet is unlikely to penetrate the several layers of fat protecting her vital organs, like a fleshy kevlar vest. However, she is likely to die from infection, which is highly commom among gunshot wounds.

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A middle aged man goes to a psychic. She tells him that he has prostate cancer, and his wife has been cheating on him for the past 3 years.

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so a square said to another square,your rather obtuse oh wait squares cant talk,whats going on. later that day,chuckles realizes he isnt funny -chuckles

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What do you call an Arab with a long beard? An Arab with a long beard you stereotypical piece of crap.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs hanging on the wall? Art.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? An apple up your ass, a penis in your ramen, finding out you have herpes, or many other scenarios. In short, there are many things worse than finding a worm in your apple.

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Why is my room black and white? Because your in a black and white movie.

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Brian finally kissed a girl on the lips... After her daily whore shift of blowjobs -Ap

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A guy starts writing a gag for a joke site. But then he couldn't think of a punchline.

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How do you make a dyke moan? Insert a BEAVER in it!

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why did the chicken go to the man? TO ask if he wants sex for money

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Two muffins are in the oven, One says "Damn it, so hot in here," The other one says " Wow! Muffin which can talk!"

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Roses are yellow Violets are carpet.. Get it...?

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A horse walks into a bar, realizes that he shouldnt be here so he walks out.

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Q. Why did the kid drop his tennis racket? A. Because he got run over by a tank!

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Why is it sad that a black guy died in a car crash He was my friend

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How do you count all the jews in a village? The United States Census Bureau usually has reliable data so I would start there

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My son won the lottery. I shot him so I could have the money.

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whats brown and sticky? a sweaty mexican

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How do you tell the difference between a bomb and an Asian? One blows up.

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Knock Knock DAMMIT WOMAN MAKE ME A SAMMACH

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A white straight man, a black gay man, and an Asian bisexual woman walk into a bar. They are enjoying their drinks until one overly intoxicated man makes a remark towards the group in reference to their diversity in race, sexual orientation, and sex. The bar crowd is enthused with the drunk man's genius in not only constructing a joke to cover all three categorical descriptions of the group, but in guessing each member's sexuality based on their respective appearances.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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