Knock Knock? Who's There? Not a Jehovah's Witness, let me in!

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What do you call a black guy selling drugs. A pharmisict.

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so dont touch it.

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Why did the clown fall off the swing? He got shot.

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Why did the young boy drop his ice cream? Subscribe to find out; starting at only $14.99 a month! For more jokes similar to this one, subscribe to "Horrible Jokes" for $95 a month! Subscription Plans: - $14.99: Answer one joke per month - $49.99: The above plan... PLUS a free copy of "Antijoke, the book" - $99.99: A free cookie - $1099.99: A free cookie and a pass to the dark side - $0.25: Eternal happiness Order now for best prices! Or else we'll burn down your house and kill your extended family! Thank you!

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What do you call a women with two black eyes? Someone trapped in the cycle of violence that is domestic abuse. The few friends and family members she still speaks with tell she should leave. They don't know about the last time she threatened to leave him, when he held a gun to her throat and screamed "You try an leave me I'll kill you and your precious god damn babies!" Now she suffers silently for fear of what he might do to her family, but is increasingly worried about the way her husband has begun looking at their 13 year old daughter. Every night she kneels at the foot of her bed and prays for death, over the sounds of her own sobbing and her husbands drunken rage. Also she is a slow learner.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Interrupting Pessimist. Interrupting Pessi- Slavery.

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KNOCK KNOCK who's there? hello is anybody there? hello?....... .....the number your trying to reach has been removed please hang up the door knob and put the squirrel back in the lawnmower were belongs

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What did Abraham Lincoln say to his slaves? Nothing, Abraham Lincoln had no slaves.

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The grass is always greener on the side that uses manure and fertilizer daily.

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Whats black and cant read white paper? An African

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yes... that's the joke

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Why did the deaf man attend the music concert? He was invited by friends and wasn't doing anyhting else that evening.

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Steve, what do I write on a 3946 if more than two vehicles were involved?

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phil - "honey, why is the picture quality so bad" Phil was watching a toaster

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why are marcos hands all swetty. he just got done giving a hand job to joe.

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Why did the bus driver tell the black man to get to the back of the bus? Because all the seats up front were full and its dangerous to stand in a moving vehicle

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if your were a slu* what would you do dance on a pole or get a tattoo

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Why did the robot cross the road? Because it was a banana.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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I really don't care how you dress at my funeral, I'll be dead!

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What do you call somebody from Manchester? A twat

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What is 6 1/2 inches when erected? My penis.

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how many cookies did the fat kid eat? a perfectly reasonable amount of cookies.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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