Why did the kid give a bad presentation in class? He knew basically nothing about the topic, and on top of that had a large erection.

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irish wristwatch JLR

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What do you call a black man in space? An astronaut.

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Chinese food tastes so oriental sometimes, sort of like asian food

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did you hear about the platypus that was found dead in the middle of death valley?

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Set an alarm for a reasonable hour.

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I didn't choose the thug life... I got a job.

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whats worse than getting the girl you're talking to taken from you? getting the girl you like taken from you.. by a asian.

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whats worse than dying alone? dying with a boner.

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one day a white guy was in detroit. it was very strange. nothing happened

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What did the mime say to the girl? .......

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What did the little boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer What did he get the next year? Nothing he didn't make it that far

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why did the boy named rylie white get aids Because he had unprotected sex with someone with aids.

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Carl has 300 candy bars. He eats 295. What does Carl have? Diabetes. Carl has diabetes.

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whats worse then being a black kid with out a father? is not that bad it happens all the time

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as this could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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Did you hear about the man who played the lottery? He lost.

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What did the pet lion say to its owner? Nothing. The lion then proceeded to hunt down its owner, pin him down and rip out his insides. Besides, the likelyhood of owning a lion as a pet is very slim, and even if one did, this act would be highly illegal in most parts of the world.

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No, you think faster smarter and harder than everyone I know, you change and adapt faster for each day, sometimes I just think one has to stop asking oneself what makes one happy, and simply choose to be happy.

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How did Jimmy know that his neighbor was a serial killer? He didn't... Jimmy's dead now

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Women's rights

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What did the blonde say to the chicken? mmm, delicious

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, You just died, and I'm laughing at you and your extremely ugly face.

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Sarah: Knock knock. Jim: Who’s there? Sarah: It’s me, Sarah. Open the door. Jim: It’s me Sarah open the door who? Sarah: Please Jim, it’s freezing out here. Jim: That wasn’t a very funny joke, Sarah. Sarah: Shut the fuck up and let me in. Jim: Ok.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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