What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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Q. How are a bird and a turtle alike? A. They both fly. Except the turtle.

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why did mary fall off the swing? Cause she had no arms. Why didnt she get back up? Cause she had no friends. Knock knock whos there Definately not mary !

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What rhymes with shuck and starts with an f flamethrower

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A guy walks into a bar, and then is hit with the full force of all the things he never did in life, of how he wasted his younger years chasing a bigger paycheck rather than trying to live life, and all the love he wasted on people who didn't care about him. He begins to cry as his first drink arrives, and orders many more as the night passes. He loses his keys as he leaves and stumbles home in a drunken stupor, contemplating suicide.

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a woman came back from a long vacation, one of her male employes noticed that her breast were much larger, "wow, did you get a boob job?" he asked. she replied "no i have breast cancer"

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Why did the african man wear no clothes? Because he liked being naked.

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how do you spend all your money you go buy stuff

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Two guys walk into a bat, they have a couple drinks then go home, one crashed and died in a horrible drunk driving accident. The other, who took a cab, went home and viciously beat his wife.

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Want to hear the funniest joke in the world? I forget how it goes but it ends with the abolishment of slavery.

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Q - What is worse than a nerdy joke on anti-jokes with a lot of big words in it? A - Although I get scared when i see big words, the page long jokes are probably worse

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Q: What's your favorite song? A: Not one in particular. I like all kinds of music.

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What is black and red? Something that is black and red.

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- My grand mother died. - I'm sorry.... Did She died of old age ? - No, she got eaten by a giant worm.

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A. Knock Knock. B. Who's there? A. Orange. B. Orange who? A. Orange you glad your retarded because you think oranges can talk?

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Luke Hardie is G@Y

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What's fourteen inches long and purple and can make a woman scream all night? crib death

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knock knock who's there ?? the police now get out !!

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a pornstar comes early to a party

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If the best things in life are free, whats the hardest things in life? Death.

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What did the man say to the jew? How are jew?

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What's worse than getting an F on your paper? Walking in on a man wearing your mother's skin after vigorously raping her in front of your baby sister.

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Bra*don Che*ey is tall. Facebook me please... Im desperate

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Why did the fortune cookie taste bad? I forgot to take the wrapper off.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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