How many times can the Frenchman cheat on his wife? I don't know.

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I slipped and fell in the shower today. Good thing my dad caught me

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"How come dinosaurs don't talk?" " I don't know. Why?" " Because they're dead."

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Q: what's the difference between a human and a gorilla? A: they can both talk, apart from the gorilla

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What happened to the deaf, dumb, and blind kid? I don't know. Niether does he.

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Why did the plane leave late? Because they were out of Kellogg's® Breakfast Cereal.

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What did the hungry man do? He ate.

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A guy walks into a bar, has a few drinks with his mates and gets highly intoxicated.

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what did steven hawking say to the prostitute? Nothing, he is unable to speak, he needs help from his word speaker thing.

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Rudolf the rednosed reindeer died today. He was reported flying over Madrid when he was hit by a jumbo jet and a flock of seagulls. People are now saying that the reindeer in Spain was hit mainly by the plane.

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What`s red and smells like blue paint? A sunburned baby drinking green paint.

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whats one plus one penis

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Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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Why did the chicken protest? He wanted to be able to cross the street without getting his motives questioned.

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How do you call a man in a wheelchair? Disabled.

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sometimes i put my hands on the floor tuck my head into my cheat and lean forward... because thats how i roll

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Nickelback

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Oh yeah? Well you're as gay as this joke!

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life is a barrel of tomatoes...unless you paint them blue.

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Do you know whats sad? Global Warming Do you know why the polar bears are dying? Aids

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knock knock who's there Scott, Scott who, Scott Rollheiser stole my joke and posted it here.

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How do stop a clown from laughing? Hit in the face with a hatchet.

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There was an american man on the way to work.

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What do you get when you jab a four year old with a pair of scissors? A warrant for your arrest.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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