Hi what I lug you

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What do you call an Oliver with friends? A dream

thumb_up thumb_down -13

A man walks into a bar. He then proceeds to get severe concussion, goes to hospital and dies three days later after suffering multiple brain haemorrhages.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Q: What were Peter's emotions after he bought his $2 million house? A: None, in fact he has no home, family and anyone to help him. his leg is pinned down by a large piece of metal that fell on him while looking for food to eat at a construction site, expect him to die of bleeding in the next 24 hours.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What do you get if you cross a nan and a car? A squashed dead nan who released their bowels and your grandads face who was also dead as they had a cardiac arrest

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why did the

thumb_up thumb_down -13

A man walks into a bar and orders a beer. His family is struggling financially and his children are severely malnourished. If he wasn't an alcoholic, he could afford healthcare for his family and move into a better neighborhood. But he's not, so they will die a long, painful death.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

dildos are red, vaginas are blue, mother, what have I done to you?

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why was the boy crying? Because he had AIDS

thumb_up thumb_down -13

A horse walks into a mans house. The man wonders how the horse got into his house.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Did you hear about the new pirate movie? It was rated PG-13.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

The day the forces of light fight the forces of darkness, we will all live in darkness no matter who wins. Pure darkness will not allow you to see. Pure light will blind you.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

question:How do you call a Russian with Ak47. answer: Spetznaz

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Whatsup?! Your grandpas chance of dying.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What happens when a scientist tells you a lie? It's not true.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What's the difference Justin Bieber and a Dic* the Dic*

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Roses are Red, Violets are Blue.. wait wut are u a bitch Violet are not freakin blue its Purple

thumb_up thumb_down -15

On a deserted island in the middle of nowhere three women have just been in a horrible boat wreck. They are okay and alive. One is a lovely smart brunette. An appealing ginger. And a blond.. named Becky. They take shelter when one of them notices a shimmer in the sand. They pick it up to discover that it was a golden lamp. They rub it and a blue cloud of smoke consumes them. Then a magnificent Guinnie appears and says "You have awoken me from my 10,000 year encasement inside that lamp! I shall grant you 3 wishes to show you my sincere gratitude." The brunette wishes for a plane so she can fly home. The ginger wishes for a boat to sail back home. The blonde was lonely so she wished that the brunette and the ginger were back with her.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

A black man and a Mexican are in a car. Who's driving? The cop. The two men were best friends who had taken off from their law firm. Alex had recently gone through a divorce and John decided to take him on a trip backpacking across Europe. One rainy night an off-duty police officer picked them up and took them out for drinks. The friends had a wonderful trip. But Alex never got over Jenny leaving him. 3 months later John found him dead in his home by auto-erotic asphyxiation.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

There are two lawyers about to enter a court room. They look at each other shake their hands and then the defending lawyer smiles and says "I'm Jewish your f*cked"

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What's funnier than slapping a girl? Calling the cops on the person who slapped her.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Susan went to Chemistry class, Susan is no more. For what she thought was H20 was H2S04 (sulfuric acid.)

thumb_up thumb_down -15

An American and Russian are arguing about their country. The American says "I can do things you can't. I can walk into the White House and into the Oval Office. I can bang my hands on my President's desk and say "Mr. Obama, I don't like the way you're running your country." The Russian says, "I can do that." The American says, "No, you can't." The Russian says, "Sure I can. I can go to Vladimir Putin's office and say "Mr. President, I don't like the way Mr. Obama's running his country."

thumb_up thumb_down -17

So you go home and get on the computer. You have no internet so your stuck playing pinball.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops