What's the difference between a black man and a bench? A bench is nonsentient, generally heavier and not necessarily light-dark brown colored, whereas the black man is fully capable of thinking and usually has dark toned skin.

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A man has a meeting with his doctor and his doctor says "I have some bad news, you have cancer and you have alzheimer's," to which the man replies... "Well at least I don't have cancer." This is an example of a fallacy claim.

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A newly wed couple is at the beach and the wife asks for sunscreen and the man says he forgot it in the car. He goes to the car only to find that the car had been broken into. He goes to call his wife and they go back to the car only to find that the car had been stolen. #Turns out the thief broke the window to steal the car but saw the owner coming and hid behind a bush and upon the man going to call his wife he continued with his mission

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What's the difference between a panda and a baby? I don't have a baby in my freezer

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Wanna hear a dirty joke? A little boy falls into the mud Wanna hear a clean joke? He takes a bath with bubbles Wanna hear a dirty joke? Bubbles is Michal Jackson.

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Why Cant michael J Fox draw a perfect circle? Because he is dying of Parkinson's disease.

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Roses Are Red Violets Are Blue I want to get you pregnant.

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Why'd the clown fall out of the tree? it died. Why'd the cat fall out of the tree? it died Why'd the chicken fall out of the tree? it was stapled to the clown

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Hey guess whats funny? Matthew Mcconaughey Oh wait, never mind

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Want to hear a joke? Obama

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What does a Twihard, a Brony, a Belieber and a Gleek all have in common? They all ruin the Internet.

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whats worse than 4 dead monkeys? 5 dead monkeys.

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i should have been sad when my flashlight died.... but i was delighted.

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What did the homeless man buy with a dollar? Nothing. He didn't have a dollar.

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What did the little boy say to his cat? Masturbate on my moms corpse.

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Why did Sarah fall of the swing... She had no arms. Knock knock, who's there... Not Sarah. Face Face, who's there... Probably Sarah.

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What do you call a Mexican who steals cars? John Doe, until he's been identified.

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Q:Whats yellow and on the floor in the bathroom? A: A Rubber Ducky

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If life's a box of chocolates, I'm the dominant male.

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-How do you kill a douche? -You stab him untill he cries out in mercy and stops moving.

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What's brown and sounds like a bell? An old rusted bell.

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Q: Why did Sally keep falling off the swing? A: She had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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What's sad about this man who committed suicide? He forgot to return his rented DVDs.

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Where do you8 find a dog with no legs? right where you left it

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops