hey chris what yu doing wit my back pack? using it..

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? Dave. Dave who? Dave proceeds to break into tears as his grandmother's Alzheimers has progressed to the point where she can no longer remember him.

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If there's somethin' strange in your neighborhood Who ya gonna call 911

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How can you tell if an elepant has been in your refrigerator? It has been destroyed.

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What is small, red, and can't fit through a doorway? A baby with a spear through its head. Posted By: Lram

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How many black people does it take to for there to be a murder? None. A murder is a group of crows,not black people.

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Knock knock. USE THE DOORBELL!

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Your mother's so ugly she has low self-esteem

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Whats a movie? A moving picture.

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How do you make someone to shut up You tell them to SHUT UP!

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A black guy, a mexican, and an arab are all in the same car, Whos driving the car? The black guy because he politely offered and his friends were happy to ride with him.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Pansies are purple, Nothing rhymes with purple.

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Johny got a iphone ipad and a macbook. He bragged to his friend. His friend said, i got an apple.

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Did you know Helen Keller had a playground in her backyard? Neither did she

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An armadillo walks into a bar, and shouts "I hear you don't serve armadillos." "That is correct," the bartender replies.

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Whats worst then getting a paper cut. Being stabbed by a screw driver.

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What do you call a Muslim flying a plane? A pilot you racist! Jk a terrorist

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My dad calls me a son of a bitch and I'm like "hey! You married her"

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(To the pretty girl at the bar) "Was your father a thief? Because I really would like to have sexual intercourse with you."

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Patient: Doctor, I was cleaning my glass eye and accidentally swallowed it. Doctor: OK. Lean over and spread your legs. Patient: (Leans over and spreads his legs). Doctor: My God! This is the first time, in all my years of practice, that I've ever seen an asshole looking back at me

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The President, The Pope, and a small child are all in an airplane when the pilot announces that the plane is going to crash. They crash into the ocean and quickly remember that there is a life vest under their seats, which they promptly put on and safely inflate after exiting the cabin of the aircraft by pulling down on one or both of the red tabs.

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What did the frog say when it was attacked? Ribbit.

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Why'd the chicken cross the road? The chicken doesnt understand the concept of a street so it was most likely just wandering across the street

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How are baseball and basketball the same. They aren't football.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops