Your mom is so stupid, she didn't know the answer to 2+5

Why did the man need new glasses? He was thrown off a bridge by a leprechaun.

deez nuts

So, two men walk into a bar. But the midget walks under it.

Roses are grey Violets are grey Im a dog

what did the penguin say to the dodo bird. nothing because dodo birds have bin extinct for thousands of years and it is highly unlikely for a dodo bird to be saying anything to a penguin do to the fact they wouldn't be anywhere near each other and neither species can speak.

i just got pulled over by a cop. he asked me if i had been drinking, i said no. he asked me to step out of my car so he could look inside i looked nervous, and had no other choice to step out. he knew there was something in there he looked in and saw it THE REFRIDGERATOR

Why did the chicken cross the road? because he had legs.

What happened when the lawyer went surfing? A shark came up and tore his leg off.

Racial Equality

Why? Because.

What smells like diarrhea and looks like poop? A rotten banana.

Man goes to doctor, says he's depressed. The world is bleak and hopeless and life just isn't worth living. The doctor thinks for a second then smiles. "Treatment is simple he says, the great clown Pagliacci is in town. Go see him, that should pick you up." The man bursts into tears, sobs hysterically like a child, "But doctor," he says. "I am Pagliacci."

Why are babies like shake weights? Cause If you shake them long enough, they both end up being inanimate objects.

What is the difference between being a serial killer and a doctor? I'm not a doctor.

Q. What's big, green, has four legs, fuzzy, and if fell out of a tree would kill you? A. A pool table

How did the mexican cross the border? He went through border patroll, and then later became a legal citizen of North America

OMG I was sexting my friend and I accidentally sent my naked picture to my parents. What do I do? Tell your friend that you accidentally sent your naked picture to your parents.

what did the orange say to the apple? hi

- what do u call a dead black person a problem - what do u call a lot of dead black people a big problem - what do you call a mass killing of all black people. genocide

What's grey and doesn't climb trees? A car park.

so if your riding down a big hill in your canoe and your bicycle falls out how many pancakes do you have left? you would have 200 pancakes left --sticksack

What's white and black? Color blind.

Bill Clinton, George Bush, and Barak Obama all found a magical lamp. The Genie appeared and said, "I will grant one wish for all of you, and one wish only." Bill wished to become president. The other two thought that would be pretty cool and did the same. (ic3)

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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