What do you call a lot of Chinese people in a confined place? A Chinese urban center.

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Doctor! Doctor! Everyone seems to be stealing things! Piss off, I am a doctor not a detective you prick.

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Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

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Knock knock Who's there? Dave, I've got a fucking gun. Let me the fuck in.

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HAHAH MY WORD IS HAPPY CLAPPY

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NEVER

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What bouriquet got to do open HIS FACEBOOK!

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A man walks into a bar. He is promptly taken to the hospital where he finds out that he may have a concussion.

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Knock knock Whos there? Sorry, wrong house,goodbye!

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Why did Lucy fall off the swing set? Because she died. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Lucy.

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A man walks in to a bar with a frog stapled to his head. The bar tender says What the heck is that. The frog says I don't know this thing has been coming out of my but for two days

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What did the magician's assistant say after the magician cut her in half?... Nothing. Her spine was severed and she died instantly.

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How do you beat Andy Murry at tennis? KILL HIM!

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why did the man turn on and off the lights 20 times because he was diagnosed with O.C.D as a child

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What happened to the gun that was jammed? It didn't shoot.

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Q: What do you call a colour blind person that smells like green paint? A: A painter

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What do you call a group of Mexicans jumping over a fence? I heat of runners trying out for the Mexican Olympic hurdle team.

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What did the boy with no legs get for his birthday? A bike

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Why did the mouse cross the road? Because he had been attached to the chicken with a nail gun.

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A dog with toothpaste in it's mouth wanders into a bar. The bartender beats it to death, because he thought it had rabies.

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Did you hear why the peanut got arrested by walking next to another peanut? One got a-salt-ed

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Whats black and white and red all over? My wife, i constantly beat her and I should probably be arrested for it if she didnt love me so much

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One day a black guy bought some fried chicken. The clerk said: Lol you guys always eat chicken! Lol said the black guy, yeah I am here a lot. Clerk: No I meant your kind of you know... I KNOW WHAT? Clerk: You guys at the studio next door! Oh, yeah, lol I almost thought you meant my skin color! Clerk: You fucking Negroes always thinking we are racist...

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Whats the difference between a Ferrari and a dead baby? I don't a Ferrari in my garage

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops