Have you ever had Ugandan food? Neither have they.

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Why did the pied piper eat tea half past three? Because the chicken tripped on the way across the street and the fat lady didn't sing.

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What's black, white, and red all over? An interracial man with multiple stab wounds.

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What's the difference between your mom and a table? The table isn't a whore.

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wanna hear a clean joke? bob took a bath with bubbles. wanna hear a dirty joke? bubbles was a man :) i heard this somewhere and it made me laugh :)

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Your mom is so poor; she doesn't have a job.

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If a tree falls on a woman and there is no one around to hear it, she was probably lonely.

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a man was hired for a job. he made a lot of money and was able to support his family.

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whats a parkour kid? someone who jumps off things and is a pre-teen with adhd

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My friends a Jehovahs Witness. He got all pissed at me because he tried to tell me a knock knock joke and I ignored him.......i totally stole this joke lol.

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How do you stop an asshole from being an asshole toward you? Shoot him in the head.

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What does Pluto and a creamsicle have in common? Neither of them are a planet.

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Roses are red, violets are blue shut the hell up, and sit the hell down

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Q: What do you call an underground train full of professors? A: It's very unlikely that the passengers on an underground train would consist entirely of professors, unless it was a special service booked solely for the attendees of highly specialised lectures which required each audience member to have completed a professorship.

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How do you keep an elephant from charging? Ask nicely.

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How do you fit 10 babies in a bowl? With a blender. How do you get them out of the bowl? You don't, you've already been arrested for multiple cases of infanticide.

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a man was beating his wife his wife asks him to stop he says no and continues beating her

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What did the kid in the wheelchair get for Christmas? AIDS.

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I don't always drink beer, but when I do, I have a pint or two.

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A man takes a bite into a tuna casserole and burns his tounge. He is also a hermaphradite.

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Why did the woman have no boobs? Breast cancer

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What the last thing that went through Osama's mind? A bullet

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So an alien walks into a bar......... and everyone runs away secreaming because theres an alien in the bar.

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she's a woman

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops