What's worse than getting shot? Getting shot twice

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Whats green and has wheels? Grass...i lied about the wheels

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Roses are red, violets are blue, my life didn't start, until I met you! :) Megan _____

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Wanna hear a joke? Womens rights ;) Wanna hear another joke? Too bad i'm not gonna tell you

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what happens when u fall down the stairs? you break your arm.

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What are you going to get your mom for mothers day? I have two gay dads.

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Okay, hundred billions, and because I am fucking hungry, we make it perpetual, now the longer you keep the feeling going, the stronger and stronger and you know, trillions, indefillions, nondecillions, hell, make up your own numbers and just consider them higher. Bet its starting to feel pretty nice huh?

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Nice ass. Too bad it's cracked in the middle, though.

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Wilson: would you buy lottery when you grow up Mattuew: no theres no point Wilson: ask Xiangxi right next to you Mattuew: xiangxi, would you buy lottery if you grow up? Xiangxi: Prabably not, because the chance of winning a lottery is lower than becoming an astronaut Mattuew: the probability of you winning the lottery is higher than you finding a girlfriend

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Grandpa loved a good joke, he died laughing. The doctor said it was a severe stroke probably brought on by smoking aggravated by high cholesterol and high blood pressure.

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What do you call a successful black man who owns millions? Either a criminal or a fictional character.

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dat shoe shine tho

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What do you call a dog with two tails? ...Depends on what you named it.

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How do you beat Princess Diana in a car race? Challenge Princess Diana to a car race.

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Why is a bulldog so aggressive Because it was raised for dog fights in basements Dog fights aren't right kids, and you should never get involved but if you find yourself in the cage fighting one of the dogs, you should really think about how you got there.

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There was a papa tomato, a mama tomato, and a baby tomato. Coincidentally, it was also Tuesday.

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josh moran where your Bluetooth gone?

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haha women's rights.....what a joke.

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Do you know what Stevie Wonder's house looks like? No. Well, neither does he.

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What did the the water hose say to the man? Nothing, but the sight of water made the man thirsty and he drank to excess and died from dilution of his blood.

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There was a golfer at the field where people usually golf. he had a golf club. so did the man next to him. The man i spoke of first hit the guy that was next to him with a golf club. Why? because he was angry at the man for shoving socks down his daughters throat and extracted her eyes with a melon scooper. This should not be humorous, the girl got blood and eye juice on her fathers new shoes when she came home.

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knock knock whose there? penis penis who? penis want vagina

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What's the difference between a piece of chicken and a black guy? One is delicious and the other isn't good for your health.

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i am a slasher, a slasher of prices to get to the other side. poop goo goo gaga

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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