How many Jews can you fit in a car? - Probably about 5 or 6, depending on the car.

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How do you put a giraffe in a refrigerator? You open the door, put the giraffe in and close the door. How do you put an elephant in a refrigerator?. . . . . . No! You open the door, TAKE THE GIRAFFE OUT, and put the elephant in. So, the lion calls a meating in the animal kingdom and who's not there? The elephant, he's in the refrigerator. You have to cross a river infested with crocodiles, and you don't have a boat. How do you get across?. . . . . . No! You get in the river and swim across because the crocodiles are at the meating with the lion!

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I had a terrible childhood. My mom abandoned me before I was born.

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If i could re-arrange the alphabet i'd put my sausage in your oven

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Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: It was dead Q: Why did the lizard fall out of the tree? A: It was stapled to the moneky

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How do you make a hormone? Modify bacteria using recombinant DNA technology.

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Why was the girl crying? Because I raped her

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Wha do you call a couple with aids? 2 pepole who need immediate health treatment.

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Q: Were yyoouu talking smack about me? A: what? Q: did i studder? A:yeah you said yyoouu Q: well were ya A: no Q: oh ok.. A: k bye..

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What do you call an armless, legless man hanging on a wall? Art.

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because she was hit by a refrigerator.

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What is that smell? I don't know. I'm color blind.

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Once there was an egg by the name of Steve. His name was Steve the Egg.

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Whats the difference between a red cup and a blue cup. Ones red and the other is blue.

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What did the boy reading a book do?  Well, studies show that reading connects the synapses in the human brain, thus, making said boy reading the book a tad bit smarter.

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A man goes into a butcher shop and says, "I bet you 350 euro that you can't reach that bit of meat," indicating a cut of beef hanging above him. The butcher looks up and says, "No way." The man says, "Why not?" And the butcher answers, "I have a huge gambling addiction, after losing my family to it, this job is all I have left" The man leaves, ruing the silly bet he had placed.

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A Priest, a Rabbi and a Shaman walk into a bar. The Bartender looks at them and says "What is this a Joke?"

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Why did Jim go to the hospital? To get an autopsy.

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Someone dies every second. That's 60 a minute. 3600 a hour. 86,400 a day. 604,800 a week. 31,536,000 a year. But thankfully- I don't live in Zimbabwe.

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How long did it take the man to swim the Atlantic? I don't know. Everybody stopped counting after a while and went on with their lives. His body was never found.

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Its not a big mistake at all, if people do not want to get hypnotized you cant hypnotize them, or so I thought...

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Q: What present did the Taliban's wife get on the islamic holiday A: a beating

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Did you hear the one about the guy who couldnt find his shoes? No? ok ill talk to someone who will get the reference

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why did the circus boy not do his homework? because he was in a coma.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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