Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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What's white, wet, and loved by women? A polar bear cub.

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What's white and sticky.... Jizz

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why is the sky blue? because your mother blocked your computer to meatspin.com

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My jeans

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EVERYBODY has a penis!!! Everybody!!!!

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, My vagina is Red, Im on my period.

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what's the worst part about owning a prius? telling your parents you're gay

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A Jew walks into a bar...He uses his coupon to get a free drink, then leaves.

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Q: WHAT DO YOU CALL THIS JOKE??? A: Another joke you didn't think was funny... REFRIGERATOR!! O.k. Now it's funny!

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what did the boy who liked trucks get for his birthday? POOP

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A guy walks into a bar. The second guy ducks.

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David Cameron

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Knock knock I don't even have a door just walk in

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A man jumped off a cliff and wished he could fly. He was hit by a plane

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The Chicken was crossing the road one afternoon, he was fined by a police officer for J walking He made it to the other side.

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name one pop artist who's better than Michael Jackson that's really hard. there's so many

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Boo. Boo who? Boo Radley, I live next door.

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Why do people waste there time writing Anti-Jokes Becuase they enjoy there right to the 1st ammendment and who are we to question it

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Why was the little girl crying Someone therew a dump truck at her

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Your so stupid that when during your baseball game your third base coach told you to run home, you did. The next day, you failed your test.

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why was the man denied his teaching job? because he is a wanted cerial killer in 43 states.

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Why Did the throw up He was sick

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Knock, knock. You do realize you can actually physically knock on the door instead of just imitating the sound effect with your mouth, right? It's actually way more effective that way. Just saying, since it's raining outside and you're cold and want to come in...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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