Does your iPod have zoom on it? Yeah, but it doesn't have a camera

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Why did the old man lose his cane? He didnt. He had alzheimers

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Is the glass half full or half empty? The liquid in the glass is not at exact half, so that question is not answerable.

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Knock Knock Who's There? Ted. Oh, Hey Ted.

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What did the little boy say when he was asked what he wanted to be when he grew up? Adolf Hitler

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What do Mike Tyson's handwriting, the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and your Grandma's apple pie have in common? Nothing.

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The blond detective was searching a crime scene and replied to the police officer, "I smell something fishy about this situation." She was on her period as a matter of fact, and bled all over her trousers.

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Why was the man arrested? He assaulted and raped an elderly woman at the local Walmart. He then proceeded to hijack the poor woman's Scooter and lead police on a 4 mile long car chase.

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Roses are red, Wait. Why start this poem when you cant finish it Refrigerator

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yo mama so dumb... because she was not properly educated

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What the the Tyrannosaurus say to the chicken? Dinosaurs are extinct and even if they were not, it would not say anything to a domestic fowl, it would most likely devour it with one bite.

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What did the black man get for christmas? A present.

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Did you hear the joke about the man and the serial killer? Neither did the man since he was stabbed repeatedly and thrown into the bottom of a lake.

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Doctor Doctor, I keep getting horrible boils all over my face! Okay then. Take off your underwear and we'll see what's going on.

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A horse and a group of people are the jury in a courtroom. They are expected to vote yay or nay of whether a supposed robber is guilty or not. The jury goes into their room. They come out, and the people vote yay. The room turns to the horse. The horse states his objection very thoughtfully, and then leaves the room.

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How did Debbie get a black eye? Because her dad asked her to take off her pants and she refused so he beat her

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What's worse than a dead baby joke? A dead baby.

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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead walk into a bar. They order a few drinks, chat, and walk out.

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Q: what do you call a deer with no eyes A; roadkill

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Why didn't Tom have to pay for his ride to the funeral? Because he was dead and in a coffin.

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Yo momma is so fat that....actually she's quite fit and i'd love to take her out on a date.

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how do you make lady gaga cry you poke here face then rape here.

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In Soviet Russia you don't drive car, because the Soviet Union was disbanded in 1991

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When life gives you lemons, refrigerate them so they don't go bad.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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