Is Barack Obama a dentist, a teacher, or the president of the United States? A dentist. He just happens to have the same name as the president.

Q: what's worse than getting the flu? A: getting cancer

That would mean that you are not its leader, or that you are, the result would have been the same, if you are the "head honcho" they would have gone for you, and your employees. Now, if you are an employee, they would have gone for your leader, and of course you. So between us and nobody else really its fucking antijoke, are you the leader?

what's a snake that has no legs a snake

A homeless guy was walking along the beach when all of a sudden he see's what looked like to be magic genie's lamp so he pick the lamp up whipes it off then sells it for black tar herion.

Why can't Michael J. Fox draw a perfect circle? Because it is humanly impossible to draw a perfect circle.

Q. How many men did it take to build a wall? A. None, the wall is already built.

Knock Knock... Who's there? Nine... Nine who? Nine Eleven.

Why did the young girl fall off of the swing set? Because a man came up behind her and pushed her. He then picked her up, brought her home and fed her a nice three course meal and put her to bed. When she woke up she snuck out of the house and alerted the police.

Q Why did the chicken cross the road? A Because it couldn't fly

What do you call a calculator without a brain? A calculator.

What's brown and smells like shit? An oddly shaped birthmark on a dirty homeless man

Roses are red Violets are blue Im really bad at poetry Your mums a whore

You are so dumb that you receive poor grades in school.

What did the prisoner get for Christmas? A lethal injection.

Why did the black man go to hospital? To cure his black.

Hey I just met you, and this is crazy, but here's a free drink, you'll wake up in my basement.

How to make deep fried chicken. Step 1: Go to your local swimming pool. Step 2: Throw a dead chicken into the deep end. Step 3: Strike the chicken with lightning. Step 4: Remove your newly fried chicken. Enjoy!

A horse walks into a Bakery and asks "Do you have any wheat bread?", and the Baker replies "No, we only have white bread." So the horse says: "Thats okay, I rode my bike today."

Person 1: I'm really sleepy. Person 2: Then go to sleep.

Who let the dogs out? The dog's owner.

Why was the little boy sad? Both of his parents died in a tragic car accident.

Why are kids with Aspergers Syndrome always banned from Mcdonalds? Let me repeat that: Ass Burgers.

A duck walks up to a lemonade stand, as asks the man running the stand, "Hey, got any grapes?" The man suffers a heart attack from the shock of a talking duck

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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