What did one cannibal say to the other cannibal? Nothing, because he was eating him.

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Where do you find a dead hooker? where you left her.

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What's black and sits at the top of the stair case? Stephen hawking in a house fire.......

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(Mortal Kombat Annihilation) Princess Kitana: "Mother, you're alive" Sindel: "Too bad you, will die" (Troll 2) "They're eating her. And then they're gonna me. Oh my gawwwwwwwwd." (The Room) Johnny: I did not hit her, it's not true! It's bullshitt! I did not hit her! [throws water bottle] Johnny: I did *not*. Oh hi, Mark. Mark: Oh, hey Johnny, what's up?

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What is the funniest shirt Emil heskey has ever worn? A shirt that had this joke on it

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What does a weasel and a naked college girl have in common? No clothes

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How did the chicken get to the other side? He crossed the road.

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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Yo mama so fat, her Patronus is a cake.

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Q: How are a plum and a rabbit alike? A: They're both purple, except for the rabbit.

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quantum physics?

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What happens to a blonde girl who is buying drugs off of a drug dealer? Nothing, she was an undercover police officer trying to arrest said drug dealers on the street.

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What's 13 inches long and 3 inches wide and drives women crazy? My diick

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if you don't like this you're gay

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Why couldnt hellen keller drive because she was a women

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What's worse than getting raped? getting raped by a horse in car while listening to nickelback

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A man walk's into a bar with a monkey, I fotgot the rest of the joke. Your mom is a whore.

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What did the black man buy at the store? Nothing he has no money

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What's the difference between an elephant & a toaster? ....you can't tell the difference between an elephant & a toaster??

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A man finds a lamp and rubs it and a genie pops out and says he'll grant him 3 wishes. The man says "I wish I had a trillion dollars for which I can buy whatever my heart desires" and poof he gets it. The man says "I wish I had a beautiful wife for which I can love forever till the end of time." and poof he gets it. Finally, his 3rd wish he says "I wish I have my own country for which I can rule as king and become the greatest ruler in history." and poof he gets it.

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So a pirate walks into a bar. He sits down, and orders a drink. After giving the pirate a drink, the bartender looks down and notices that there is a steering wheel on the pirate's penis. "Sir, are you aware that there is a steering wheel on your penis?" The bartender asked. "Arrrrrrr, it's driving me crazy!" The pirate replied. "Well you should probably get that checked out soon," said the bartender, "It looks very uncomfortable and could be dangerous to your health...not to mention your penis is out in the open." "Yes, you are probably right," the pirate agreed. He proceeded to get a ride from a friend to the nearest hospital, for drinking and driving can be dangerous, and steering wheels on penises are not safe.

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what did nena say in the library while her and her friends were on anti-jokes? I don't know. I wasn't there.

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Whats the difference between a Jew and a Pig? One makes bacon when smoked.

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Why does everybody look at the foreign boy strangely? Because he was ugly

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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