Roses are red, Violets are red, Why do I have a Virtual Boy?

They found Michael Jackson dead in his house and found Madeleine McAnn in the cupboard 8P

Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? She was a woman

Q: What does a bunny and a plum have in common? A: They're both purple except the bunny.

Q. what do you call mexican stoners A. baked beans

What starts with P and ends with O-R-N? Popcorn

"Why did Jim Jones put cyanide in the People's Temple Flavor Aid?" Because he understood that adding sugar would be bad for their teeth.

Q: What did the vomiting man say to his friend? A: BLEEEAAARRRGGHH! Q: What did the vomiting man say to his wife? A: BLAAAARRRRRGGGHHH!!! Q: What did the vomiting man say to the waiter in the restaurant? A: BLAAAAAARGH! Q: What did the vomiting man say to Leonardo DiCaprio? A: BLEEEEAAAARRGH! Q: What did the vomiting man say to the convenience store clerk? A: BLAAAAAARRRGGGGHHHH! Q: What did the vomiting man say to your mom? A: BLAAAARRRGGGHH!!!! Q: What did the vomiting man say to Barack Obama? A: BLAAAARRRRRGGHHHH!! Q; What did the vomiting man say to the King of Saudi Arabia? A: BLAAAAAAAAAAAEEEAAARRGH! Q: What did the vomiting man say to the bartender? A: BLLLEEEEAAAARRGHHHH!!! Q: What did the vomiting man say to the funeral home director? A: BLLLEEEAAAARRRGGGHHH!!

Why did the airplane crash? The pilot had a stroke.

(two firefighters are climbing an undersea mountain in Brazil) Why do elephants fear the natural causes of silver icecream cones? Because the cars in the parking garage jump the moon while doing jumping jacks.

What do you do when a burglar breaks into your house and tries to kill and rape you and you family? Nothing, he as an AK-47 and shoots you all dead and then has sex with your corpses.

A sandwich walks into a bar. The barman says, "We don't serve food here." The sandwich charges the barman for discrimination.

Whats 9 plus 10 ... WHO FREAKIN CARES! STUPID.

Jennifer Kim... having a boyfriend!

Q: what happens when Justin Bieber walks into bar? A: three things, blood on the bar floor, another vister at the celebrity hospital, and Justin Bieber with knifes and darts stuck in his chest!

Run, Run, As fast as you can, You can't catch me, I'm in a car.

Why are women bad drivers? -There are no roads in between the bedroom and the kitchen.

How do you call the uncle who molested you as a child? More than likely with a telephone.

How do you get a baby in a bowl? You put it in.

Y didnt the grandma go to christmas? She died on thanksgiving

Hej Erik och Leo!!

Nathaniel Nugnes walks into a bra

what happens when a hamster bites your arm? your arm bleeds

How did the black man survive the Train crash? He didnt, he died liked everyone else

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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