Why did the man smell bad? He had not showered for several days

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What's black and runs fast? Newsflash: Most of you are racist.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: This is actually a really good question which leads me to wonder why the farmer let the chicken out in the first place.

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Why did Samuel drive his car into a tree? Because the tree was being a total jerk, blocking the road.

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What Did Gretel say to Hansel? Stop having sex with Ariana Grande!

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What do you call a fish with no eye? Blind.

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Weaner

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Jack: Hey, you know what sucks? Jill: Vacuums Jack: Hey, you know what sucks in a metaphorical sense? Jill: Black holes Jack: Hey, you know what just isn't cool? Jill: Lava?

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Knock Knock Whos there? You You Who? Who You Oh im Jim.

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the elephant asks the man, " how do u breathe out of that thing?" the man proceeds to explain to the elephant how he breathes out of his nose.

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What do you call a man with no arms in the middle of the ocean? Mike.

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What did the spoon say to the other spoon? Nothing, it is a spoon.

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Whats the definition of not winning? Charlie sheen losing custody of his son because he is a coked out, old man douche bag, who only gets told what he wants to hear because he forks out lots of money to gold digging hookers.

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Why did a kid throw a clock out the window? Because he was adopted

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To run away from the slaughter house.

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What do you call a black man that is on fire? A Man on Fire. The fact that he is black has no relevance in this situation.

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Why did the Alzheimer's patient fail the history exam? I don't remember.....

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Although I guess there is probably no way to get on the swing with no arms unless there was another person there to aid you in the process, and that is highly unlikely because nobody wants to hang out with a girl with no arms. Still even if Suzie was helped on to the swing she wouldn't be able to swing because of her lack of arms. Maybe that person who helped her on pushed the swing with her on it bearing in mind she has no arms. In that case Suzie should stop hanging out with that person because they are very sadistic to deliberately shove a girl with no arms off a swing.

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A kid comes across an injured duck near a lake. Nevermind he doesn't see it he's really high.

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What did the Blonde do when she saw train tracks? She walked over slowly, looked both ways, and crossed safely

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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If your mom is a teacher and your dad is a gynecologist, how many pancakes does it take to stack on top of a dog house roof? 12. Because footballs don't have feathers.

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Why didn't the jew spend his paycheck? He wanted to save money for the future

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How did the the the police know Princess Diana had dandruff? They found her head & shoulders in the glove compartment.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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