Women, "Did just pinch my ass!?" Man, "Yes." Women, "Oh, alright then."

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A little girl was curious about where people come from so she asked a very controversial question. Girl goes up to her mother and ask "Mommy, where do babies come from?" Mother replies "Ask daddy." Girl says "Daddy, where do babies come from?" Father replies "Ask the dog." Girl then goes up to her dog and says "Doggy, where do babies come from?" The dog doesn't reply because it's a dog.

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Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson go camping, and pitch their tent under the stars. During the night, Holmes wakes his companion and says: 'Watson, look up at the stars, and tell me what you deduce.' Watson says: 'Someboby stole our tent.' Holmes and Watson look at each other, shrug and go back to sleep. At least the thief kept their blankets.

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What musical band do you get if you keep shouting while in the mountain? The rolling stones. What do you get if you keep shouting in a snow covered mountain top? Blizzard Entertainment.

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Q: How do you make Osama Bin Ladin happy? A: Take him out to a nice seafood dinner free of charge.

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Q: How did Helen Keller cross the street? A: She walked.

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Why did the black homeowner default on his house? He was paying significantly more in mortgage than the actual market value of the home, since he purchased his property before the housing bubble. He carried out a cost/benefit analysis and derived the conclusion that he was effectively destroying his own wealth by paying his mortgage bills.

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What's Hitler's favorite drink? Jews (meaning juice)

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Do you know what the forest fire got for Christmas? Your house

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 brutally murdered 6's entire family.

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How do you get four gay guys to sit on one barstool? It's quite difficult, it would be easier to just get 3 more barstools.

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Why did the man feel like he was flying? Because he had just committed suicide by jumping off of a tall building.

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What did the boy say after he stubbed his toe? Owww! I wanna have sex!!!

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how do you make Will Smith cry? cut off his toes and fingers.

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roses are red violets are blue i need a pee and so do u

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Cripples are lame.

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Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King. After being told politely that Big Macs were served at McDonald's and not Burger King, he walked out and drove to the nearest McDonald's.

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How many cops does it take to change a light bulb? None they would just beat the room for being black.

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Whats red and smells like blue paint? Red Paint

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Q Why did the chicken cross the road? A Because it couldn't fly

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Donald Trump

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you are looking on the internet someone falls over and i were shoes and chips prevent world war 2

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Where do you find a dead hooker? where you left her.

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Because the tractor hadn't seen the chicken.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops