i should have been sad when my flashlight died.... but i was delighted.

How many Cancer patients does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One. Cancer does not affect one's ability to install light bulbs.

What's worse than your console not switching on? A mutilated body.

Q: what do you call the green and the (stone eater) animal? A:the green and the (stone eater) animal

Roses Are Red Violets Are Blue I want to get you pregnant.

Q: What do you get if you cross a kangaroo with a sheep? A: A genetic aberration that is an insult to both God and man.

Q: Why did Sally keep falling off the swing? A: She had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

why is six afraid of seven? because seven is black

Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Because it was dead

What's black and hangs from a tree? A tire swing.

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: This is actually a really good question which leads me to wonder why the farmer let the chicken out in the first place.

What do u when life gives u lemons? U put them in your iced tea.

if u ever get arrested by cop, just tell the cop this: "No no officer, you got it all wrong. It was only a game. It's called RAPE."

Why is it so hard to find slim fitting clothes in America? Because not many clothing stores carry them.

Why did the tomato blush? It didn't, tomatoes are naturally red by colour.

Why did the Asian student do well in school? Because he worked hard and studied everyday

What color is a red house Red What color is a blue house Blue What color is a white house White What color is a green house Clear

Why was the Saudi Arabian terrorist flying a plane in America? He was going to visit some family on a ranch in Kansas.

Why'd the gay man get fired from the sperm bank? He was repeatedly late to work.

Why did the chicken cross the road? There was food on the other side

Gustavo Andrade

Knock Knock. Who's there? Banana. Banana who? I'm a talking banana; what more do you want from me?

Why did Hellen Keller drive off of the cliff? Because she is a woman.

What is worde then swallowing a slipper? Swallowing a granny to catch the slipper

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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