Why didn't the octopus have any friends? Because they are antisocial creatures by nature. -Louis

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Your momma soo fat.... that if she doesnt start exercising and eating right she will be more likely to get adult onset diabetes.

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I don't drink. I'm not 21.

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So I was flirting with a girl at a bar the other day when this huge black guy walks up and says "Hey honey". I realized that I still had some un-addressed prejudices in me as he shook my hand, pointed out that it was a mistake anyone could make, and introduced me to a girl he had met at the college he works at.

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in superbad, why couldnt seth take off mclovin's face and wear it as his own? no one can. theyre fictional characters in a movie

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Roses are red. Violets are red. Daisies are red. WHY IS MY GARDEN ON FIRE?

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What do you call a man with no arms in the middle of the ocean? Mike.

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What did the drug addict say to the doctor? I am a drug addict and am in need of help and rehabilitation.

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why did the guy laugh at everything he was high

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Why did the kitten cross the road? Because its owners abandoned it.

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What do you get when you cross an ugly hobo and a diabetic? Don't talk about your mom like that.

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whats worse than finding out there's mold in your bread? finding out the holocaust is in your bread

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Why did the woman go out of the kitchen? She did not because she had a curse put on by a man off the streets of Greek row a Yale that said u may never leave the closest kitchen near this very spot, and it turns out that the closest kitchen was in a frat house across the street so now she is stuck in the kitchen making sandwiches for all the frat bros at this Yale frat house, So basically she was in her place

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What's better than winning a gold medal at the paralympics? Winning two gold medals.

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Why was the multi-millionaire entreprenuer sad? He went bankrupt.

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a man walked into a bar, sat down and had a drink with his friends.

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Why do cows say moo? Because it's a cow

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whats worse than walking in to the doctors office and he says you got aids heaps of stuff can be worse but haha you got aids

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How many pairs of underwear do I own? Seventy-nine.

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Suck pussy

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What did the boy with no arms or legs get for christmas? X box Kinect

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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OSS ARE RED VIOLENTS IS BLUE U BELONG THE ZOO I WILL BE THERE TO BUT LAUGHIN AT U

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Why can't basketball players play hockey? Because hockey and basketball season occur at the same time.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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