What did the farmer say after the chicken started talking? Holy shit a talking chicken

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Why is it so hard to find slim fitting clothes in America? Because not many clothing stores carry them.

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What did billy get after sex? Herpes

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How many dyslexic people does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Filing cabinet.

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What's orange and sounds like a parrot? An orange parrot

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boling water: why is it taking so long for you to get hard? egg: sorry, it's just because i recently got laid by a chick.

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What kind of movies do pirates like? They don't know, Somalia doesn't have much of a film industry.

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How many women can fit on a bus? It depends on the size of the bus.

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What's grammatically incorrect about this sentence? Nothing. I lied.

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What is white and weighs twice as much as Shamoo? My ass.

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Why did the girl make a sandwich for her boyfriend? Because she offered to make lunch in order to save money by not going to a restaurant.

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how do you kill a blond? there are many ways but every one of them is illegal and could be criminally chargeable.

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How can a man go 8 days without sleeping? Sleep at night.

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WELCOME TO THE GARLIC BOYS SHOW! So kids, what are we gonna eat today? POTATOES! FUUUUUUU! Moral: You say tomata, I say WROOOOOOOONG, you say cheap I say your mother.

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What's green and can dance? A Cloud. I lied.

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My name is Jacob Mckeand and my penis is as long as Mr. Macs hair.

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A good antijoke? Going to the last few pages of the "Popular" antijoke section....

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Person 1: Happy Halloween! Person 2: Hey, I'm Jewish

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Why did the man feel like he was flying? Because he had just committed suicide by jumping off of a tall building.

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Why from a friends phone? I demand a full explanation, here, you got my number, you got my home address, and who the hell was that crying little bitch on the phone? I got friends in the UK which owe me some money, and nothing to lose, if I have to take care of you before you take care of me and even possibly my wife in the crossfire, I will take you down and everything in my path! Moral: Got ya!.

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What did the man say to his wife while having sex? I don't know.

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How do you make a lumberjack cry? Kill his family

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I love bacon therefor I love people who eat bacon execpt people who eat my bacon then I hate people who eat bacon

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Knock knock It's open, come in

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops