Why did the black man cross the road? He was chasing the chicken

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Q. How many blondes does it take to put in a lightbulb? A. Cause of 7,8,9!

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How do you hack into someone's computer? A few good hits with a hatchet should do the trick

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Nero, I am happy to hear from you again, but it kinda sounds like you are going to get yourself killed or something. Is there something else I can do? If that asshole is suffering, kill him after he is done doing it, I am done with that piece of shit. Honestly, what is going on Nero? You are not going to suicide or something are you? Please respond, right away, or I wont call your wife.

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Your mother is so fat, she developed diabetes and was rushed to hospital. She might not make it.

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What did the man say to his wife while having sex? I don't know.

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Why are Pirates called Pirates? Because the word originates from the term Pirata which means 'sea attacker' in Latin.

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Q:why did the guy go to the doctor? A:I dunno, he must have gone for a good reason

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Why did the baby die? Lack of oxygenated blood to the brain.

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How many babies does it take to tile a roof? Depends how thinly you slice them

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Your mom is so ugly she often finds it difficult attracting members of the other sex.

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No smoking No eating No drinking On this bus Didn't say anything about sniffing

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Why isn't Michael Jackson good at chess? Because he's dead.

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Roses? are red Violets are blue, Kangaroos like Oranges, Poems suck, Refrigerator.

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One day 2 people were gonna fight after school and the final bell wrung then they started the mtch and the challenger says, "Hey whats the one thing that you say when you don't want to fight and ypu let the other person win?" The other guy says, "I give up?" Then the challenger says, " I WIN!!!"

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What did the doctor say to his wife? We have grown apart over the years, I want a divorce.

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A coyote walks into a bar, because human development has rapidly destroyed his natural habitat. He mauls three patrons.

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Why did the duck cross the road? Because he was tired of the publicity his friend, the chicken was getting for crossing the road that he wanted to do it himself. Halfway across the duck was wistfully hit by a car and sadly, his story is lesser known and 99% of the people in this world really don't care about him. Thumbs up if you're that 1% that shows sympathy toward the duck.

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* pretend your an orphan Knock knock Who's there? Not your parents.

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A zebra and a giraffe are out in a safari and they see some humans. And then the cow, was drinking, the man was milking the drink, when the giraffe was going to buy some milk. She said, the was yeah okay.

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Three drunk llamas wearing sombreros are walking down the street. They walk in silence, lost in their own thoughts.

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Nebraska the farmland its the only place for me!! I love the corn and the corn loves me!! I live for the corn and the corn lives for me!!

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How do you confuse your algebra teacher? Tell her to prove that she exists.

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A gorilla walks into a bar and gets a banana martini. The bartender thinks that this is peculiar, and then he realizes he is dreaming. He wakes up and tells his wife about this ridiculous dream that he had. His wife ignores him, and the man rolls over and begins to sob because he realizes that his marriage is in shambles.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops